My Dream House

My dream home is deep in the forest. Somewhere very green, so that in the summer the sun barely casts more than a few beams on the ground or house. But it’s not very cold here or very warm. The house is two story, contemporary, with huge walls of glass on every side in every room, except bathrooms of course, I do like some privacy.

I picture the downstairs as one rectangle of glass with any rooms with walls being in the center, the stairs bending around 2 sides of the interior walls. The floors are zig zag pattern cherry wood. A big black grand piano sits in the corner. Next to the piano are 2 white chaise lounges side by side and a white furry rug on the floor. The furniture is elegant, clean lined, but still warm and inviting, comfortable. It’s private even with the glass, no neighbors for miles. It’s cozy despite being open. Close to this…  but much more private, wooded, and I need a second story.

Upstairs the bedrooms have big glass windows so you can see up to the night sky through breaks in the trees. Big warm beds in every room with bookshelves and cd’s along the interior walls.

It’s hard to describe my dream house, somethings are easier for me to draw. But I do know I miss the piano, I haven’t played in over 15 years. Someday, I’ll get my piano in front of the big window again. This picture is close enough, but I need the trees closer to the house, more trees, taller trees, to filter the sun. And a black piano with my wood floors too. But I like the windows all around it.

Or, I could just move right into this one... it works too

The No-Fail Way to Make Me Roll My Eyes

Look into my eyes

There are so many things I roll my eyes at I think I need a list.

1. people who can’t fill out a simple form and say “can you help me with this, I don’t know what goes in the blank that says “ADDRESS”"… eye roll!

2. the old short guy that stares at my cleavage rather than looking up at my face at starbucks every morning

3. men that try to play “hard to get” and other such games to get a girls interest rather than just being genuine and sweet

4. people who let their kid scream and throw a fit at the grocery store and do NOTHING to correct their behavior, then give in and hand them the candy.

5. people in line on their cell phones that tell the cashier to hold on while they finish their call and everyone else has to wait because it takes them 10 minutes to pay.

6. People who go running into a business 5 minutes before closing and say “whew.. glad I made it” and then stay 30 minutes after closing time, when they should have planned better, instead the employees suffer staying late.

7. People who make their emergency your problem. It’s not my fault you suck at life and can’t plan ahead!

8. People who always have an excuse that blames someone else for their incompetence.

9. Traffic on the highway over the lake because as soon as people see a lake they go “ooooh, a lake, better slam on my breaks and take a pic” like they have never seen water before….oops, did they just cause an accident?

10. Traffic lights that aren’t synced right. city planners need to either put the lights on timers or use sensors, you can’t use both or traffic gets all jammed up!

11. People who are so busy in their cars texting or calling or doing other things that they sit a a green light, then when you honk to let them know the light changed they flip you the bird. If you need to do other things besides drive, get off the road and do them, then resume driving when you are done!

12. People who don’t pay their bills, get into foreclosure, but party, shop, and otherwise poorly manage their money. BILLS FIRST people!

I could go on forever… if ya can’t tell. I think you can see the theme here, it’s inconsiderate self centered people I can’t tolerate. People need to look up, look around, pay attention, and think of someone other than themselves for once! Isn’t anyone responsible anymore? both socially and economically… the world would be a better place is people took a little personal responsibility.

What Keeps Me Up at Night

It usually starts with a cat, I yell “JACK! leave your sisters alone!” into the darkness, I lay back down and drift back off and suddenly feel a thump. The dog lunges at the foot of the bed, at my feet, which now holds a twenty pound cat between them. I try to move my legs, but you try moving twenty pounds of dead weight on top of the covers between your legs at 2 a.m. I finally lean forward and knock him down again. I lay back against the pillow, roll onto my side and look at the clock. Stupid cat, I hope he leaves me alone now.

Now my mind turns to him, the most recent of my failures, I just realized I was dreaming about him again. He was lying next to me in my dream, the big spoon. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Now I’m angry and hurt all over again. Now I can’t go back to sleep. Now I have to pee, and the room is cold. So I get up and make a mad dash to the bathroom, sitting there shivering and peeing at 2:15 a.m. and run back and dive under the covers where it’s still warm between the memory foam and down comforter. Ahhhhhh, warm, feels good. I forget what was troubling me, at least for the next 3 hours and fall back asleep.

Five a.m., why am I awake when the alarm doesn’t go off for 2 more hours? I should be sleeping for a week, I took two benadryl at 10 p.m. The dog is on her back, legs in the air, snoring and barking in her dream, legs kicking wildly. I’m jealous of my dogs life. I roll over, I’m starting to get angry that I can’t sleep, this never happens to me. I always sleep, in fact I have the opposite problem usually, I can’t wake up, I’m always over-sleeping and running late, but for a week now, I’m up before the sun, staring into the darkness thinking. Thinking about him, about all of them, and wondering what I can do to fix what ever it is that is wrong with me. I know how to be a friend, so why don’t I know how to be a girlfriend? Why do they all run away? I remember my nightmare from a few nights about about spiders, don’t think of spiders, don’t think of spiders, crap, now I’ll really never go back to sleep.