Does anyone really enjoy this?

I really hate dating, I can’t say it enough. Nothing makes a woman or a man feel more insecure than those first few months of getting to know someone new. How do you know when to stop seeing other people? Do people really have these conversations? I am under the sentiment that it’s never a good idea for a girl to tell a guy that she’s not seeing other people right away, especially when he is. I’ll get to the story behind this, don’t worry. I just think that after a certain amount of dates, people either know they want to be with just that person, or they don’t.

Brown came over last night, I cooked for him. I hate to brag, but I’m a really great cook, it’s one of my many talents in the home. We had a few beers while I cooked dinner for him, we chatted, nothing deep or important, he was affectionate, but not all over me or anything, he was a gentleman. The dog and cats love him, he loves them and pets them and plays with them. We ate, he loved it, and went back for seconds. I wasn’t sure he really liked it, people rarely say they hate your cooking, but I guess going back for more was a good sign. Then we retired to the living room, I showed him what movies I had, and he said they all sucked, not guy movies, what can I say. I like indie films and chick flicks. So we found something I had on the DVR from pay per view he hadn’t seen that wasn’t a chick flick or indie film. I put on 1408, hadn’t seen it in a long while, so what the hell… He fell asleep! Like 10 minutes in, dude is head back sleeping on my couch. He wakes up off and on when something loud comes on, apologizes for being tired and falls back asleep. Then the movie ends, he gets a drink of water and says he has a headache and asks for something, so I give him tylenol and he lays on my lap. I rubbed his head and neck, it sucks having a headache, I know this I get migraines, and my professional instincts kick in and I just have to take care of people. Probably not the best move on my part, it’s way too nice for a guy that just fell asleep on me after I fed him. So I put on showtime and watch another movie, he falls asleep again. When he wakes up he says his head still hurts, so I found some advil and gave him that. Needless to say, he layed there for a while longer before I started to yawn at around midnight. Then he says he knows he should go home. I told him if his head hurt still he was welcome to stay here, it’s clear we aren’t having sex, so he can spend the night. He says no, he wants his own bed and pillows since he’s not feeling well, and keeps apologizing. Yah, YA should apologize! You have slept for like 4 hours on my couch now! Not my idea of a good date!

So finally he gets up and I tell him how to get home, walk him outside, he hugs me, kisses me, and says “I’ll make it up to you”…. wait for it…. drumroll…. “I know your horny”…. WHAT??????? Are you kidding me? Besides the fact I’m a 35 yr. old woman, I’m always horny, but I don’t sleep with just anyone, and that wasn’t why I invited him over. Yes, in a round about way I was going to tell him to shit or get off the pot if he tried in regards to dating other people, but that wasn’t my motivation in asking him over to eat dinner. All I can think is I’m so over this! This was date 6 with this man… DATE 6 people! He left his sunglasses on my kitchen counter, I noticed too late after he left to run after him, whoops, my bad. I texted him this morning to tell him he left them and ask if he felt better. He said “fuck, I need those! and yes I’m am feeling better, I’m going to lay off the beer for a while, thanks again for the delicious dinner, sorry about the movie naps”. I’m figuring he’ll ask to see me this weekend, so I’ll give them to him then. I gave him a hard time of course… “yah yah…you have to make it up to me big time! you just couldn’t handle me with the home court advantage”… to which I get “your probably right, that is an advantage, what about monday?”  Monday huh? guess he has a hot date this weekend, his loss. Needless to say, I wouldn’t commit to Monday, or ever again, I gave him a hard time, and said to have a good weekend.

I’m so put off by this! I did like this guy, I didn’t really mind THAT much that he fell asleep here, if that was really what he was doing. I mean, if he didn’t want to be here, he could of said he had a headache and left before sleeping 4 hours on my couch, so I try to take that at face value and not read into it. But this morning, I have a different perspective, especially after the texting. He’s not good enough for me. No thanks. I’ve said it before in regards to him, I don’t play second or hell, third fiddle, maybe I’m fourth, who knows?

It’s interesting how in such a short time things can change so dramatically. It’s a huge turn off for me to  keep dating someone this long and not have him claim me as his and want to date other people. I’m not sure when or if I’ll agree to see him again. I can get his sunglasses to him through people at work passing them along if he wants them that bad. He must have a backup pair if he’s going all weekend without.

So today, I’m heading to the mountains, to just drive the blue ridge parkway, it’s cooler up there, I can’t take this 100+ degree heat anymore. I think I’ll take the dog. I need to get out of the house, nothing to do here, house is clean, everyone seems to be busy today, so maybe some time to clear my head is going to be good for me. If I happen to have some sort of epiphany up there I’ll write later or tomorrow, now I need to get in the shower if I’m leaving before afternoon.

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July 2010
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