05
Aug
10

crap…. thought I’d have nothing to blog today


But I guess I do, I’ll try to keep it short. No word from Brown, don’t know if he got the sunglasses yesterday or not, I guess it can take 2 days via regular mail, hell I’ve had bills from right down the road not get to me until after they are due, we have serious USPS problems in this area for some reason. SERIOUS. I also, kind of think that if he’s in the mindset that he thinks I was clingy or needy, that he will think it was just another desperate attempt at contact, which it wasn’t. I honestly don’t think he’s “the one”, I had however hoped at least at one point, we would be friends in the end. I am to tell the truth a little disappointed at that. But I have other friends, so it’s fine I guess. I figure if he doesn’t say anything by tonight, he got them, thinks I’m clinging, and won’t even say thanks. But I’m assuming he does have them after today, and I’m not going to think about it again.

I hadn’t heard from “S” since Tuesday when I never replied to his text that night asking if I was done with my training. oops. Last night I got drunk on 3 beers while reading Twilight. It was a great evening alone. I figured I was free of him, that he got the message. Apparently not. He just texted asking what I’m doing tonight. I really don’t want to deal with it at work. I never deal with drama at work. And when I tell him I don’t intend to talk to him again, I’m positive it will be BIG drama. The kind where he says I’m ugly, fat, and he didn’t like me anyway. That is his style with women when he’s rejected. ugh… so ya, not doing it at work. NOT. AT. WORK!

I still don’t really know what I’m doing out there as far as dating. I think I’ve kinda put it all on hold for the next week or so. I’m considering match.com still, but it’s only a consideration at this point. I’m still very put off by online dating, lying men, non-committal men, and my reactions to it all. I want to find the right guy, but I’m tired of looking for it. I’m actually enjoying sitting at home with my beer and book in the evenings, not feeling like I’ve got a million things to do and people I’m obligated to see a few days a week, it was wearing me out. But, with being done with Twilight as of today, wanting to start New Moon and not having it yet, I’ll clean house tonight and feel bored again, and I’m sure, start to look around for some form of entertainment which never bodes well for me. Maybe I’ll go buy New Moon tonight and see what else is good at the bookstore. I guess I’ll do anything to avoid cleaning the house and cat boxes. ;-P

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