Maid of HONOR?

I fully expect to wear something along these lines

According to http://www.themaidofhonorguide.com the follow is what is expected of me… .GULP

The following are things that the maid of honor is expected to do:

  • Coordinate with the bridesmaids. This could include keeping them informed about fittings, pre-wedding parties, or anything else they need to know.
  • Host a shower with the help of the bridesmaids. This includes planning, setting up, and splitting the costs.
  • Host, plan, and set up the bachelorette party with the help of the bridesmaids.
  • Pay for your wedding day attire. This includes your dress, jewelry, and shoes. The bridal party is responsible for purchasing their own attire; occasionally a very generous and thoughtful bride will purchase these items for you, but don’t bet the farm on it.
  • Help the bride shop for wedding dresses, or at least offer.
  • Keep the groom’s ring during the wedding ceremony.
  • Arrange the bride’s train at appropriate point in ceremony, if needed.
  • Hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony vows. (Be sure to give it back before she trots back up the aisle!)
  • Arrange the receiving line after the ceremony, if applicable.
  • Sign the marriage license if needed.
  • Toast the bride and groom if given an opportunity-this could be at the rehearsal dinner or at the wedding reception.
  • Help where needed at reception; make sure bride has a chance to eat and drink something.
  • Dance in the wedding party dance if applicable.

All of this, for my stepsister/bff that lives in another state over 12 hours away by car, and is getting married even further way in her fiance’s home town in the midwest…. Add to that, I don’t think a single bridesmaid lives in her state or the one she’s getting married in! This will be uh.. interesting to say the least. Add to it, I’ve only ever been in 2 weddings, and never been a maid of honor. I think the worst part for me will be giving a speech! I know I know, you all think if I can write all this here, surely I can say it out loud… you couldn’t be more wrong. My fear of public speaking goes so deep I can barely get  a word out, my voice cracks, I shake, and I forget anything I’ve memorized or prepared and can’t read out of note-cards since my hands are shaking so bad. I guess I’ll have to get drunk. At least at a wedding or rehearsal dinner no one expects me to be sober, unlike giving a speech at school. Then they expect me, white girl, to dance? as in like slow dance with someone? or can I just get out there and shake my money maker like I have a clue? Given the date of the wedding, I have a few ideas of my own about things I can bring to the table. It’s on Friday the 13th… they actually wanted this, her fiance says it’s a lucky date for him, and it’s the only one next year.

You can't expect me to leave a date like this alone can you?

So here is what I will bring to the table in my own unique and surprising way:

  • First things first, a hockey mask and bloody knife of course!
  • I think it only appropriate to surprise the bride by having all of the wedding party learn and dance the thriller dance instead of the electric slide. Wearing the hockey mask of course!
  • Writing “Help me” on the bottom of the grooms shoes so when he’s kneeling at the alter everyone will see it.
  • Put confetti and glitter in the heating/air-conditioning vents of the car.

I’ll come up with more things I can do, both for the parties I have to give and attend and the wedding and reception. I’m not going to ruin it of course, but I am going to give them a hard time!

You can’t be surprised considering I’ll probably be wearing some bright orange puffy sleeved too short shows my cellulite dress that she picked out. Or the fact knowing my sister she will be playing pranks on all of us no doubt for the next year until the wedding!

But I am actually honored she chose me. My sister and I have known each other for almost 20 years now. As soon as we met at 16 years old, we were instant best friends. Being best friends with your sister isn’t unheard of, but with a step sibling it is kind of rare. I have 4 other step siblings and I pretty much can’t stand any of them. Not to mention my half siblings I’m actually related to, not a huge fan there either. So to be as fortunate enough to have my best friend be related to me by marriage makes me quite fortunate. We use to write letters to each other snail male before the dawn of email and pc’s or facebook, and long distance was quite expensive back then so it was limited as well. We were always states away but kept in touch. I was in her first wedding as well, not maid of honor, but none the less, I was there. We can get on the phone and talk and laugh for hours sometimes, and like last night we make up inside jokes and add to them and can be laughing so hard we are in tears and our faces hurt. And when times are hard, she is one of the few people I turn to and I am for her as well. So it really is an honor to stand with her at her wedding. But remember who’s writing this blog, if you think it didn’t bring up other things for me, think again. But we’ll discuss those at a later date. I’m at work now trying to write this and keep getting interrupted.

3 Responses to “Maid of HONOR?”

  1. August 26, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    I’m sure you’ll do fine with a speech… if there is one that you have to make.

    I was MOH twice. The first time, I gave a speech at the rehearsal dinner. I was totally unprepared as I just wanted to wing it. Well, I was hysterically crying (tears of joy and pure love toward my best friend) the whole time. So, your foray into MOH speech giving can’t be any worse than that 🙂

    The second time, I didn’t have to give any speech at any time. Phew! No more blubbering from me to be witnessed by all.

    I think it’s incredibly awesome your bff is also your sister!!!

    • August 26, 2010 at 4:05 pm

      I’m pretty lucky, she just sent me a link on my FB page to the EXACT same pic of the gold dresses, said they would make better “mothers” dresses. So she’s sending it to her mom and telling her she decided on colors for the wedding and they need to find something similar to these! hahahaha. Told you she was evil like me.

  2. August 29, 2010 at 3:23 am

    Just pretend you didn’t get an invitation…”Oh!!!! What that yesterday?”

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