Is Love a Fairytale?

I read a lot about psychology, modern culture, and what’s wrong with society. A common theme among most hypotheses today is that we are wrong to want the fairy tale ending as women, that it doesn’t exist. Blame Disney movies we grew up with, blame Hollywood, blame our imaginations for wanting what doesn’t exist. This notion of the fairytale is supposed to be a modern notion brought to us by a screen and actors, but nothing is real about it. I’m going to challenge this rather popular notion, because the story of the fairy tale, the ever enduring, willing to die for love, starts at the beginning of our written history.

Beginning with Adam and Eve, they defied the all mighty GOD for such a sin as love. We all know the story, or at least the important parts, we get the metaphors, and we understand it’s obviously not a true story, but it is the first love story of sorts to tell us that love, love like this is bad, it seems the writer of this story must have been a nonbeliever. Maybe in the modern day, he would try to tell me that my fairytale isn’t real, that it can never happen? Perhaps, but I think we should move forward in time a bit, or so it would seem since I know that the story I’m about to mention was actually older than the written story of the bible’s Adam and Eve, and all the other, less romantic ones. How about we talk Greek. There are too many stories to list, fairy tales it would seem, more unreal expectations for women to thrust upon less than deserving men. At least that is my opinion. Cupid and Psyche,  Orpheus and Eurydice, Echo and Narcissus, and Pygmalion and Galatea, love stories, fairy tales, fiction… or were they written metaphors for what really happened? Want to skip the Greek’s, ok, lets move on to merry Ole’ England, God Bless the Queen! Lets talk Shakespeare in that case, and the most famous of his love stories, Romeo and Juliet. It is my favorite, not because of some movie with Leo, I loved Shakespeare before it was pop culture, I’ve read this play so many times I can recite most of the lines when I watch almost any version of it being played out. It is of course one of the more tragic love stories, but the moral, the lesson to be learned is not that it’s foolish to love, the lesson is that true love is worth dying for, it’s worth everything. It’s a story that has stood through time, century after century we retell it in a hundred different ways. The lesson is the same. In no particular order, Jane Eyre and Rochester, Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler, Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy, Pocahontas and John Smith, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Napoleon and Josephine, Tristan and Isolde, Lancelot and Guinevere, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, all love stories across time, I could go on and on and on. 

So lets discuss Disney, it’s my understanding that we should teach young girls that this will never happen, it’s a cartoon, there is no prince charming, and no one will ever love us the way he does, or is it the happy ending that bothers psychologists so much? Should we instead show them Romeo and Juliet instead, show them what can happen, and let them decide if it’s worth it for themselves? How do you teach them the fairy tale can happen, even when it ends, it’s still worth it to fall in love instead of teaching them to marry for practical reasons, to be dull and lifeless, to ignore what is in their hearts? Don’t we do enough to children to stammer their imaginations as they grow up without taking away the fairy tale too?

Why do the naysayers feel so strongly that love this strong isn’t real? It can’t happen? Is it impossible? Or have they just personally given up and settled for what was easy? Maybe it’s not possible for everyone, but I think it’s possible for those that still believe in it. I think when you give up, when you believe what the media says, and let go of your dreams, you won’t find happiness and contentment, you will find you have lost yourself. I suppose there are people out there that just don’t have it in them, they look at us dreamers as crazy, lunatics, as if we live in a fantasy. I think I prefer my fantasy, my stories, and my hope that some day, my prince will come for me. I’d rather go out in a blaze of glory than to have some wet bucket douse my fire.

There is a quote somewhere about the craziest people out there, the ones that believe that anything they dream up can happen are the ones that make their dreams come true. True invention comes from fearless heart, believing in yourself and that your dream can happen. Inventors never say something can’t happen, that it’s impossible, they would never create something unique if they did. This is the way I feel about love. Someday, my prince charming will come, maybe he did and I missed him, but I won’t quit looking for my happy ending, I know it’s out there. All the wet buckets can go find a mop somewhere to suck it up, stay away from my flame!


5 Responses to “Is Love a Fairytale?”

  1. August 28, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    What a great (and inspiring) post. Thank you!

    I say those psychologists and naysayers can suck it! There is such a thing as love, and I’ve seen that it exists because it exists within my own family. My parents have been together for nearly forty years – it gives me hope when I see my dad still reach for my mom’s hand when they walk together. My cousin met her “prince charming” when she was 15, and even though his family was against him marrying her because she wasn’t Greek (so ridiculous!) now, 30 or so years later, they’re still together and have built a beautiful life, and I love it when I catch him stealing a kiss from her in the kitchen at holiday gatherings. And the sweetest and saddest moment that I remember was when my grandmother passed away (when I was 17) and my grandfather was so heartbroken, he said to me that he didn’t know how he could live without his darling wife. And he passed away suddenly (of natural causes) about a year after that.

    So love does exist, it’s not just a fairytale. Keep searching!

    • August 28, 2010 at 8:00 pm

      Thanks for the comment! I’m trying to get out of quite the funk lately, thinking a lot, and I can’t see why it can’t happen for anyone who wants it to. Love may be a mystery to some, but it’s worth figuring out to me.

  2. August 28, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    As I see it, love (and life, in general) is a balance between cynicism and romanticism. Absolutely, I want to believe that fairy tale love can happen. At the same time, I also realize that people are ultimately self-serving, and as such, falling in love with the wrong person can suck sometimes.

    Where these two extremes meet is where, I believe, we walk the fine line of living a realistic life and protecting ourselves, but still maintaining an optimistic outlook on our future.

    If that makes any sense….

    • August 28, 2010 at 8:05 pm

      The way I see it is this Dennis, all of life is self serving, from love to friendships to children. These things make us feel good about ourselves, even if we are the most selfless person on the planet, it gives us gratification to be that way, and good feelings.

      I don’t want to walk a fine line anymore, I don’t want to protect myself, if I’m protecting myself, I don’t think I’m open to finding my prince charming, my fairy tale. I could be deluding myself completely, but that’s okay for me, because it makes me happy to be an idealist. Mostly because I really do believe what I said about those that have the most unrealistic beliefs are the ones that heights that may be unattainable to most of the population. Believing in yourself is the best bet you can make.

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