New adventure? or just hell on wheels?

Over the weekend I went zip lining for the first time, I was very excited to try this as it looked like a great adventure and quite exhilarating. Um, my “friend”, lets call her “Facepalm” (this is what you want to do when you are around her), is a nut job and a half! She was so worked up over the zip lining thing she had to take 2 ativan and still almost puked, yet it was HER idea. She talked the whole way there and the whole way back. First about this guy we met when we were out like 6 months ago, and has reconnected with. Anyway, ya, so this guy is very nice, and she doesn’t know why but she’s totally “eh” with him, not that into him, because she’s obsessed with some guy from back in highschool in her home town, that wants little to do with her, except to keep her wanting him basically. So I heard all about that. Then one of the other friends is getting divorced now, and has been raised in a traditional Pakastani house her whole life and is now in the US, on her own, and single, plus drop dead gorgeous, so we hear all about her dating crap. Thankfully the other chick, is a lesbian in a long term relationship and is probably the most sane one of the group, at least she’s not guy crazy, and mostly talks about her dog. She insists we go to McD’s on the way to the place because she’s hungry and no one planned ahead to eat anything healthy. So in the drive thru she YELLS over me at the cashier at the first window “THANK YOU!!!”, then turns to me and proceeds to chew me out because “you never say thank you to the drive through people, would it kill you to thank them?” Okay, hold up, first of all, I am extremely polite, I don’t YELL anything to anyone, over anyone, I say thank you when it’s appropriate, but when someone says “thank you” to me, as they should since I’m the customer paying them, I don’t say “thank you” back, I say “you’re welcome”, one of those etiquette things I was raised with, screw me, I know manners. She then says “the next window is your last chance to be polite” and as usual, as the young girl at the window handed me the heaping pile of grease in a bag, I said “thank you” in a normal voice, then she handed me my corrected drink (they got it wrong the first time) I said “thanks”, in a normal tone. Facepalm turns to me and screeches “I can’t believe you! Why can’t you say thank you?” To which I answered in a low and very serious tone “I do say thank you, when it’s appropriate, and I say ‘you’re welcome’ as well, but I don’t YELL it over people so the entire restaurant hears me, I say things in a normal tone of voice that is between me and the person I’m speaking to”. I wanted to turn around and go home right then, cancel the whole thing and ruin everyone’s fun then point the finger at her psycho abusive behavior! I think I’m understanding why Mr. NY said that if she talked to me that way in front of him or his friends again, someone besides me was putting a stop to it. She is abusive to friends and then demands the utmost respect. Facepalm kept asking why I was so quiet… uh… between all 3 of them being lawyers and talking job stuff, and then the guy stuff, I really had nothing to contribute. Plus I was already annoyed with Facepalm whining cause some guy at her new job doesn’t like her openly. Honestly, if I worked with her, I’d be screaming “SHUT UP!” in my head all day long! Just 5 minutes of silence wouldn’t kill her, seriously.

Finally we get to the place right on time and everyone was waiting on us and ready to go early. We gear up, sign the waivers, and head out back. I’m expecting some video or something… NOPE! Straight to the course! SWEET! But… there are like 15 other people besides us! Who wants to go first they ask… some little kids jumped up first, so I was like Okay, I’m next, lets do this shit! First line is a short easy one to teach you how to break and all that. It was fun and fast though. Yay! So then I wait the 20 minutes it takes for the rest of them to get to the first platform… waiting… not my thing. Finally we get a “no stop” line that is longer and faster! No stop means, you don’t put your hand on the line to break at all, you just kinda slow down a little on the upside of the line and the guy catches you or the tree has padding strapped to it and tuck your feet because you will hit the platform edge, which isn’t padded except for one, which still really hurts btw! So like 10 of these lines later, we’re finally at the end, each platform between the trees was a 15-20 minute wait on one end of the other… not cool. Won’t go somewhere that does this big of groups again. But it was cool, I want to try some more advanced courses in some other places some time. Or try one at night, that would be awesome. I would also love to do it when it’s cool outside, to feel the cold air on my cheeks, biting making them rosy would feel so good to me.

The double line is the last one landing next to that building

So on the way home Facepalm was amusing herself and decided that she wants to be like little bunny foo foo hopping thru the forest, except she wants to “bop” men on the head with a frying pan that magically makes them fall in love with her. She wants to sell this idea on QVC. Then the topic takes a turn in the worst possible direction I can imagine… masturbation and sex toys. I’m sorry, this is not something I really care to discuss with my friends, it’s just weird, and personal, and idk… weird! Facepalm goes on and on about how she’s broken her toy and needs a new one, and she’s broken 3 toys in the last year. I’m kinda of getting repulsed by the images in my head cause well, I’m not gay, and even if I was, she wouldn’t do it for me at all. She even starts trying to find out the adam and eve stores hours and try to convince me to take her there on the way home! Uh… no thanks, shopping for vibrators with my friends does not equal a good time for me, nor does this discussion, lets change the subject, buy your shit online so it comes in a discrete brown box and I don’t have to have visuals in my mind for the rest of my life. But noooooo… 30 effin miles of this crap! I may never get turned on again. Okay, let me explain why this conversation bugs me, because not only has it turned to “I want a new toy”, it’s turned to describing the types of good toys and details I really don’t want dancing around in my head! At this point my head hurts, I’m sticky with suncreen and bug spray and sweat and want to go home! I considered bailing out of the car on the highway at 80 mph just to be rid of the images and her voice in my head.

I also got told several times “yay, I’m glad you are back to normal now, I didn’t know who you were for the last six months”, uh… I’m still the same as I have been for the last 6 months, I just made the mistake of hanging out with her and had been avoiding her. I barely talked the whole time, which was noticed and mentioned several times, but I had nothing to say, not my kind of conversations, and hardly anyone talked because she dominated every second of every conversation that she started. Ugh…. Next time… No Facepalm, no huge group, faster/higher lines.

The good part is that I really did enjoy the activity part, when we weren’t waiting for ages or the rest of the people to go. When I was on the lines speeding through the air with nothing but the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sound of me gliding across the metal line. I will definitely go back, but I will go with people who are fun and will make it a fun activity, not one I have to pretend that with each line I leap into I’m pretending to leap to my death to get away from her. She wants to go to the amusement parks halloween thing this year… I don’t think I can force myself to endure that, although it is a much shorter drive, maybe if I don’t have to ride with her and juts meet up with her I can handle it. I just don’t know though.

9 Responses to “New adventure? or just hell on wheels?”

  1. 1 don'tknowwhoyouare
    September 20, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    lmao about the co-worker and you saying you would say shut-up. there is a co-worker I have and his voice grates on me to an extreme degree and every time I hear him in my vicinity I mumble “shut the f up” Luckily for me he is on vacation this week so I get a break from him if only for a week.

  2. September 20, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    V, when you get more settled, we totally need to go on an adventure vacation. And we’re grabbing Kay too. Can you imagine three of us ziplining, rappelling, and jumping off cliffs and then drinking ourselves silly at night? And there would be limited nonsense talk about men. How much fun would that be? Oh, and umm, THANK YOU! for letting me comment 🙂

    • September 20, 2010 at 9:21 pm

      Um… totally girl! And we have to grab Heirloomgardengirl on the way too.. she’s close to Kay… she won’t do the daredevil stuff we do, but she’ll drive us! I think I’m ready for some base jumping next. Maybe off the Eiffel tower or something… ya… danger is my name baby! Now… to find some rich millionaire to fly all of us to Paris. I’m guessing “Mikey” wasn’t going to be the one to do that no?

      • September 20, 2010 at 10:32 pm

        I might poop myself with base jumping, but I might be crazy enough to do it. And anyone who won’t bring us down is invited. We’ll work on finding that millionaire. I’m trolling OKCupid as we speak…fingers crossed!

        • September 21, 2010 at 7:47 am

          lol, somehow… I doubt you will find our rich person on okcupid… oh well… I can’t seem to bring myself to go back there today. Have a hunch it will be more of the same. Maybe tomorrow, or next week. lol

  3. September 20, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    This sounds like waiting in line for a roller coaster…

  4. September 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Love love love as always. How the crap you didn’t duct tape her and throw her in the trunk is BEYOND me. I hope she reads this 🙂

    • September 20, 2010 at 9:19 pm

      noooooooooooooo, the blog I JUST posted woman! Go read it! Yes, I know you love this shit cause you hate facepalm with a passion, but read the newest… I promise, it’s better! what would my life be without drama?

  5. October 13, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    I wrote a paper on this in College, had i had your ability to articulate my thoughts and research, I may have received a much better grade. Excellent Job!

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