20
Sep
10

pièce de résistance


He lives here maybe?

I haven’t been back on my okcupid account in a few weeks, cause frankly, I just don’t care that much. I only have it to make new friends when I feel like it, and well… I just really don’t care to check it that often. So what do I see when I open my messages tonight? Something totally blogworth! Oh ya baby! It’s a beauty of 3 messages! Lest start with drunken message number one!

DRIVING TO ATLANTA THOUGHT WE WOULD MESSAGE YOU

Sep. 12, 2010 – 1:16pm

HI GOODMORNING! JUST SEEING IF YOU WERE ON! ME AND CRIS, A BUDDY OF MINE WERE DRIVING TO ATLANTA!HE THINKS YOU LOOK LIKE MY X,BUT I DONT THINK SO I TOLD HIM,ANYWAY ENJOY THE FIRST DAY OF N.F.L. KICKOFF-GO FALCONS,ACTUALLY I LIKE TOM BRADY AND THE PATRIOTS BEST, BUT HEY! IAM NOT TURNING DOWN A FREE TICKET,WELL ENJOY YOUR DAY ,LOL AND I HOPE THIS IS THE BEGINING OF A GREAT SOMTHING! TIME TELLS IT ALL DOESNT IT? ITS GOING TO BE LOVELY IN ATLANTA TODAY SO I HOPE SOME OF IT RUBBS OFF ON TO YOU. YOUR DOGS CUTE ,I LOVE DOGS,IN SAN FRAN I WAS RAISED WITH CATS AND DOGS, OF COURSE THERE GONE NOW BUT I STILL THINK OF THEM FROM TIME TO TIME AND THE MEMORIES THEY INSTILLED IN ME.BY4NOW! WISH YOU WERE HERE CHECKING THIS GAME OUT WITH US,MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.SEE YA…………….MICKEY
Then a few hours later….

HELLO THERE

Sep. 12, 2010 – 4:32am

IM MICKEY,BORN IN CALI,MOVED TO ********** NOW **********, LETS BE FRIENDS

Then the pièce de résistance…. oh, it’s good, can you stand it? Can you wait? Wait for it… okay, hold on, you want his screen name first? naaaaa…. that wouldn’t be right, I’ll let you all suffer and just read the message.

SCREW YOU

Sep. 14, 2010 – 4:33pm

YOU MUST BE A POS,YOU AINT THAT FINE! HOPE YOU GO TO HELL! SO SORRY UR SORRY ASS CANT EVEN COMMAND THE ABILITY TO RESPOND BACK,YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY BABY,ACTIONS,ACTIONS,ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS AND THEY CERTAINLY DO IN YOUR CASE.I WOULD HAVE TO BE CURSED TO HAVE SOMTHING AS STPUID AND IDIOTIC AS YOU IN MY LIFE. YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH CLASS FOR ME.
Oh yes, yes he did! I suppose he never bothered to look to see if I was on my profile recently or not. And yes, he types in all caps. I sure am sad I can’t date him, especially since that’s clearly stated on my profile that I’m NOT looking for. Any guesses how old this moron is? No? I’m sure you think he’s 25 or so… nope… he’s 40!
That site is, well… omg, lets just say, I’m not motivated to go back for another few weeks or months… cause wow.. the messages I got, well, as amusing as this one was, there were more. I am sad for humanity that this is what we’ve sunk to.
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10 Responses to “pièce de résistance”


  1. September 20, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Bwahaha. See what you miss out on when you don’t check your account every hour?

    • September 20, 2010 at 9:11 pm

      I mean screw having a life and well, not caring about some stupid site like okcupid… I might miss the love of my life, or er… this guy… o_O

  2. September 20, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    Oh V, you must play, don’t you know?!?!? If you’re on the site, then surely you want to play (ie write/chat/eventually date). That’s quite a string of emails. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to play with a 40-year old virgin, I mean *gem*, like that. And I think you might be too generous in suggesting that he lives in the Bates house. I’m actually thinking dilapidated backwoods shack.

    • September 20, 2010 at 9:13 pm

      I mean, if I have that profile, I must care, like a lot right? I must check it a few times a day and not be serious about not wanting a boyfriend or to date? I mean who could possibly be serious when they say they only want friends and nothing more? Surely every woman really wants a strong masculine guy like this that knows how to talk to a woman right? ;P

  3. September 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    DON’T YOU KNOW THAT ‘ALL CAPS’ IS A SIGN OF MACULINITY?!?!?!?

    • September 20, 2010 at 9:15 pm

      Clearly I missed that memo… Him… big strong man… me stupid woman… not that hot anyway. Just for shits and giggles, I put up a picture on there of me in my zip lining gear, now THAT is sexy, if that doesn’t draw them in, idk what will! Oh and I told the douche bag how sorry I was that he didn’t think I was that hot. Can’t wait for his reply. Don’t worry, I’ll post it here.

  4. 7 Esme
    September 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Hahahaha!! I’m soo glad I am not the only one that has issues with insecure boys. I am sorry you got the e-mails, but if you hadn’t you wouldn’t have been able to blog about it!!!!

    • September 22, 2010 at 2:00 pm

      What’s funny is this guy I was talking to I think I called him S on here a while back, was one of these guys! He told me he did this to women. Which along with the fact he was a compulsive liar, made me decide to run the other way and not look back. Hell, maybe it was S as an alter ego? He had messaged me on there too, asking why I stopped talking to him, I ignored it. I either get this kind of crap on there, or what you were talking about, “send me a naughty picture” uh… how about no you disgusting pig!

  5. September 26, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    OMG. That is amazing.

    Why don’t they have men like that where I am???

    And now I have another thing to add to my list of Necessary Items Ff You Want To Date Me: e-mail sample. Must be in ALL CAPS.


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