Archive for the 'Dating fun!' Category

28
Sep
10

There baaaack…


Why must my single life feel like a scene from a suspenseful movie? It’s like you went to the movie knowing it’s going to be like this, you hear the music of impending doom, yet you still become startled at the moment of the kill.

They always come back, every stupid guy I date that screws up and pulls whatever crap he pulls, comes back. Like my sister, I suppose I’m cursed as well. First I’ll update on her ex-situation. The one that called her a few weeks ago that is. She called back, to find the number disconnected. A few days later he called again, this time she was at home with her fiance and he got her to call again. So he apologizes like he’s in a twelve step program for what he did to her, her fiance is on speaker phone the whole time, and realizes why the dude is calling isn’t an apology, he wants her back. Long story short, he said “holy crap, they really do all come back!” As if he didn’t believe us. I guess at this point in the story, you want to know which one of my slimy ex’s came back?

I saw it coming, when I signed back up for okcupid for the whole friends thing, he was circling my profile like a shark every few days, I guess hoping I’d see it and jump in the water for him to bite. Boy is he wrong! Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me. Apparently Brown also doesn’t know the saying, once bitten twice shy, either. So a few nights ago, he wrote me on there, I only checked it this morning because I was up before dawn with a dog that had to pee so bad she couldn’t wait, so I was awake, and bored. I should have stuck with watching True Blood, at least those vampires only suck your blood.

You really are a very very nice and sweet women, your very pretty and your alot of fun to be around I just thought you should know that…

This is the drunken message I got, I forgot to look to see what time it was when it was sent on the 26th, but I’m betting it was the wee hours of the morning after a very bad date. I find it funny that he felt the need to tell me things I already know about myself instead of apologize. More games I suppose, not that I didn’t expect it. See unlike my sister, my guys rarely apologize, and they don’t take four years to come back, usually it’s around four to nine weeks. Out of the three men I dated more than casually this year, all three have come back now. Darn, what do I have to look forward to for the rest of the year?

Okay, back to Brown and this stupid message. I haven’t replied, not sure that I will, or what I’d say, I need time to think about it. Since I now have the upper hand again, I intend to keep it, and replying so soon after reading it and feeling my heart accelerate with anger, I could easily blurt out something without thinking and lose hand again, and I’d really like to make him suffer. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold. I’ll think about it today, and as always take all comments into consideration. I know some of the best evil minds reside on this blog, so any advice is greatly appreciated, even if you don’t want to be evil in helping me plot revenge, feel free to speak up. I wonder though, do I care enough to get revenge? Maybe I’ll just get bored enough this week and do it for the sake of something interesting to do. I also noticed in this message the “alot” monster was set loose, which made me giggle and revisit her blog. Have a great day everyone!

20
Sep
10

pièce de résistance


He lives here maybe?

I haven’t been back on my okcupid account in a few weeks, cause frankly, I just don’t care that much. I only have it to make new friends when I feel like it, and well… I just really don’t care to check it that often. So what do I see when I open my messages tonight? Something totally blogworth! Oh ya baby! It’s a beauty of 3 messages! Lest start with drunken message number one!

DRIVING TO ATLANTA THOUGHT WE WOULD MESSAGE YOU

Sep. 12, 2010 – 1:16pm

HI GOODMORNING! JUST SEEING IF YOU WERE ON! ME AND CRIS, A BUDDY OF MINE WERE DRIVING TO ATLANTA!HE THINKS YOU LOOK LIKE MY X,BUT I DONT THINK SO I TOLD HIM,ANYWAY ENJOY THE FIRST DAY OF N.F.L. KICKOFF-GO FALCONS,ACTUALLY I LIKE TOM BRADY AND THE PATRIOTS BEST, BUT HEY! IAM NOT TURNING DOWN A FREE TICKET,WELL ENJOY YOUR DAY ,LOL AND I HOPE THIS IS THE BEGINING OF A GREAT SOMTHING! TIME TELLS IT ALL DOESNT IT? ITS GOING TO BE LOVELY IN ATLANTA TODAY SO I HOPE SOME OF IT RUBBS OFF ON TO YOU. YOUR DOGS CUTE ,I LOVE DOGS,IN SAN FRAN I WAS RAISED WITH CATS AND DOGS, OF COURSE THERE GONE NOW BUT I STILL THINK OF THEM FROM TIME TO TIME AND THE MEMORIES THEY INSTILLED IN ME.BY4NOW! WISH YOU WERE HERE CHECKING THIS GAME OUT WITH US,MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.SEE YA…………….MICKEY
Then a few hours later….

HELLO THERE

Sep. 12, 2010 – 4:32am

IM MICKEY,BORN IN CALI,MOVED TO ********** NOW **********, LETS BE FRIENDS

Then the pièce de résistance…. oh, it’s good, can you stand it? Can you wait? Wait for it… okay, hold on, you want his screen name first? naaaaa…. that wouldn’t be right, I’ll let you all suffer and just read the message.

SCREW YOU

Sep. 14, 2010 – 4:33pm

YOU MUST BE A POS,YOU AINT THAT FINE! HOPE YOU GO TO HELL! SO SORRY UR SORRY ASS CANT EVEN COMMAND THE ABILITY TO RESPOND BACK,YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY BABY,ACTIONS,ACTIONS,ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS AND THEY CERTAINLY DO IN YOUR CASE.I WOULD HAVE TO BE CURSED TO HAVE SOMTHING AS STPUID AND IDIOTIC AS YOU IN MY LIFE. YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH CLASS FOR ME.
Oh yes, yes he did! I suppose he never bothered to look to see if I was on my profile recently or not. And yes, he types in all caps. I sure am sad I can’t date him, especially since that’s clearly stated on my profile that I’m NOT looking for. Any guesses how old this moron is? No? I’m sure you think he’s 25 or so… nope… he’s 40!
That site is, well… omg, lets just say, I’m not motivated to go back for another few weeks or months… cause wow.. the messages I got, well, as amusing as this one was, there were more. I am sad for humanity that this is what we’ve sunk to.
16
Sep
10

Wow… say the word facebook


In the title of your blog and you get very popular all of a sudden. Random people tweeting me and stuff, that’s new. And my blog link is being passed around facebook as well, and I swear, I didn’t self promote since most of my friends don’t even know I have a blog! Well, they will if they get sent the link and start browsing it and see the pics of my pets… uh…. maybe I should delete those posts, or hide them for a while till my popularity goes back to a normal level? So with this new found fame, I suppose I can now find advertisers that will pay me to sit here and show off my mad photoshop skills and spout random useless shit and get rich right? That is the American way after all! Get rich, doing what everyone else is doing. I knew that Bachelors in Studio Art would pay off some day!

So on to more important things, like my sister’s current drama. It’s like a frickin soap opera, I love it, I’m hooked, I can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode. Tonight she calls me and the voice mail goes something like this “Oooooh my gaw! oh my gaw, oh my gaw, oh my gaw! You are never going to believe this! OMG! Guess who called me? You will never guess in a million years! omg, where are you? I’m freaking out! Pick up the phone!… Beeep” The beep was her calling me right back while I was listening to the voicemail. I never finished it. I did however guess who it was. Her psychotic schizophrenic Jehovah witness exboyfriend! After four and a half years at that!

Let’s explain the back story, he was weird, like now that I know things, I also think he’s homosexual in the closet crazy weird. During the one year they were together he required her to remove all pubic hair or he wouldn’t have sex with her, on top of that, he refused to touch her with his bare hands, down there, if ya know what I mean. No oral sex, nothing but straight up, plain, sex with no foreplay. WEIRD enough for me! But it gets better! He also hears the voice of god, like really hears him in his head, he tells him things, like he’s a bad person for living with her, and other strange things I’m sure I don’t want to know. Then, one day she’s at Disney World on vacation with a friend, happiest place on earth, unless you are my sister, and he calls from home. He tells her while she’s standing in the middle of the park, he’s dumping her. See, not such a happy place is it? He’s moving out right then, while she’s out of town and taking care of her 9 cats and dog. He says he’ll come by the house a few times a day to check on them, but when she gets back he will be totally gone. Which is true, except for a few things he left. First let me list what he took, 2 things; a package of frozen steaks from the freezer, and all the change from the change jar. That is it! He left a car that didn’t run, cell phone, all his clothes, shoes, books, childhood memories, EVERYTHING! Then he disappeared, nowhere to be found to give him this stuff back!

She called his parents, brother to try to find him so he could get his stuff back. I drove up there and helped her pack it all up, we shoved what we could in the little car, and told his family to get it or it was being towed to an impound lot since the title was in his name. They did send a tow truck for it and that was the end of the story. Right?

My sister is now engaged, living with him for several years, getting married next May, I’ve mentioned being the maid of honor. Tonight, four and a half years after this douchebag left, he starts calling her, not once, but 3 times so far. She’s not answering because she’s in another state on business until tomorrow. As usual, the messages are getting crazier and crazier. She told her fiance and of course he took the opportunity to fuck with her a little. Funny part of it is, if this psycho is trying to find her, and goes to the house they lived in, she’s not there! She now rents that house out, and is in the process of evicting the tenets! The hilarity that started over us imagining him showing up outside that house yelling her name in the middle of the night had us rolling. Hoping all her problems will be solved in one night with her tenants shooting him in the face with a shotgun, thus being arrested and emptying the house and killing the psycho, or at the very least, would scare them enough to move out without her having further legal charges from eviction.

This is where the story ends… for now. Tonight she will be back home with her fiance, and she will return his crazed messages and see what he wants in his presence, for moral support, and so he can threaten him if the freak gets out of hand. She did say if he’s pregnant, it’s NOT her’s, she’s not paying child support. Surely he doesn’t think she still has the few things she couldn’t fit in the car to give back to him after 4.5 years? He said it was very important he talk to her… I’m so curious, I can barely stand it.

16
Sep
10

Hello Captain Oblivious


I swear, I didn't make this, apparently someone else knows him too

I finally came up with a nickname for J. He is now, “Captain Oblivious”, this is of course of his own willingness to admit how oblivious he is to subtle cue’s of human interaction, especially when dealing with the fairer sex. Last night he called to explain about “The Uniform”, having to do with how a man chooses to dress when he goes out. They must either don the uniform or they look like a manager at best buy. There is more to it than that, but, lets get to the heart of why he is CO to me now.

CO proceeded to tell me some dating failure stories that frankly, didn’t seem THAT oblivious to me, but a few were more so than others. Maybe because of his age and relative nativity at the time I find it easy to accept.

First story is about a girl he knew for a while and was friends with, or so he thought. She started calling him at 3 a.m. to come over and “hang out”, now I know what everyone thinks… Three a.m. = booty call right? That is my clear interpretation of it as well, I’d never call someone at that hour unless I was serioiusly in distress and couldn’t be alone, or needed a ride home because I really couldn’t drive, but I wouldn’t ask them to stay, and not in my bed. You see where I’m going with this? CO was called to “hang out” and stay the night, even invited to stay in her bed with him, to which he didn’t undress in the slightest and each inch she crept closer to him he crept closer to the edge of the bed, until in fact, he fell off. The next time she did this, she went to go “change” and came back in her bra and panties and clued him in stating, how she could be more obvious. So… okay, I’ll give him that one, three a.m. “hang out”, sleep in my bed, is a clear signal of a booty call, hell the Black Eyed Peas have a song about it. Hello Captain Oblivious!

He told me about a story of when he was a freshman in college and during a dorm party, people would put coats and such items in a “nonparty” room. A girl had put her stuff in his room, and through out the part kept needing to go get various items, alone… with him. I’m guessing she had been flirting pretty obviously with him, but he didn’t catch the cue’s. End of the night comes around and as her friends are leaving her behind and he’s asking if she’s okay to walk home alone, she runs off with a scowl, leaving him thinking she’s mad at her friends. Uh.. nope, mad at him, for being so oblivious to her signals. Pretty funny I think as he found out the next day how angry she was.

There is another story about a girl he hung out with a lot for quite a long time in fact, he thought again, just friends. But they’d go out, nothing romantic would happen, and eventually one night she was too drunk to drive home, so he had her stay at his apartment. I hope I remember this right, but somehow he was kind of thrown against the wall and once again, asked how he could be so oblivious, and asked what he wanted. Clothes came off, he was speechless. This story I can sympathize with most, I think, in such a situation, I’d be somewhat clueless as well. I look at this situation as if him and I were friends and he did this with me, seriously, I’m pretty perceptive of how people feel, but if there was no prior physical attempts at affection, it would catch me totally off guard. But I think in prior blogs we’ve established someone just suddenly wanting casual sex from me, or going straight to a sexual relationship from out of nowhere isn’t my style, I guess other people do, maybe I’m clueless too for not ever quite understanding how that works.

Now, as a woman, I suppose I’m different in some ways, and pretty typical in others. I’m not likely to make the first move as far as physical affection outside of friendship type affection. I’m also not typical in that I’m not subtle when I do like someone, and am more than likely to make my intentions known up front. If someone hasn’t responded to subtle cues within a few hours, I’m likely to ask “well aren’t ya gonna kiss me?”, but they would also know, before we were in that setting if this was a date, or just friendship I was seeking. I try to be clear about my intentions with everyone up front. Not that people don’t change their minds, we all do it, I know it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, I do it almost hourly about everything, as witnessed by many here.

No, I’m not trying to make CO feel better. He is oblivious, to some extent, and well… I’m not so sure I’m much better, at least at some of these situations. I mean, if someone says we are friends, that is my assumption until they tell me or show me CLEARLY otherwise. And then, if some dynamic of a relationship has changed, into more, or less, I want to talk about it, set clear boundaries, know what the intentions are. I mean, I’ve said it over and over again in my blog, I don’t understand what is so hard about being honest and just talking to people, it really would avoid so many misunderstandings in life. I think my clear cut way of dealing with people avoids a lot of bullshit, but also leaves me caught off guard at times when other people aren’t so clear with intentions. I’ve told CO my intentions with him are friendship, someone to do fun things with, and honestly, as selfish as it is, he makes me feel better. I wonder however, what he gets out of this from me? Huh… that just occurred to me to be curious.

I’ll send him the link to this, so he can comment further on the state of oblivion he lives in, and defend himself, it’s only fair. But, along with the link is more insight into how batshitcrazy I really am, more depth into the things that happened recently, not all of it, but some more than I’ve been able to offer, or care to discuss at the moment. I may post more later on other subjects going on in my life, yes, I do have other things, hush people, I know I’ve secluded myself a bit lately, but I’m working on it. Work has been so busy this week I’ve had little idle time to do much writing as I would like, or to even look for a job. What time I do have, we’ll blame wasting it on emailing CO back and forth. Hey, gotta have priorities right?

07
Aug
10

Lots of thinking today


There was a picture on here of me, but since my blog was recently forwarded to me by someone on facebook that didn’t read back or realize it was my blog but was just forwarding a funny post of mine, I had to delete all personal stuff that could be tracked back to me, sorry. 😦

This morning’s email did a number on me, initial reaction was that I’m mad, I still am mad, but I am getting over it. It was better for me to have said what I said than to cling to any hope he would do what he said he was doing, or to forget he’s a liar. I think the reason I fell so hard for him was that no one has said the things he said to me in such a long time. I miss that, even if it wasn’t true and he was just a manipulator. I miss someone being in love with me, saying beautiful things to me, dedicating songs to me. It felt a lot like first love, like I had never felt like that before. Remember when you were young/er, and you had that first spark of real love with a guy that had it back with you? Remember how you both couldn’t get enough of touching each other, not in a dirty way, but breathing each other in.

The best way I can describe it is in reference to Twilight, I just read it last week, and I haven’t ever read anyone describe falling in love quite the way it is in this book. I can’t even accurately describe how she describes it. The way Edward touches Bella, it evokes a feeling of realness. When I was with Mr. NY, that is how he made me feel. And it was fun, the wrestling, tickling, private jokes, laughter, secrets we told each other, looking into each others eyes and promising that we’d be together forever.  I can still feel that, just a little for him when I remember the good times. When I fell for him he said he was scared to get hurt, but “you separate the men from the boys by those that are willing to try again”. I had tears in my eyes from something someone said to me, that has NEVER happened to me. That was one of 100 beautiful things he said to me. He was if anything, a smooth talker.

But reality sinks in, and it’s like a thousand bricks come tumbling down with a loud crash, and what I’m left with is nothing but lies and disbelief, and a lot of dust. I want that feeling back damn it! I deserve to have that feeling back! I’m angry he did this to us, to me! Mostly, I’m angry at myself. I realize I had a wall up for 12 years after my first love broke my heart. This guy didn’t tear it down, he climbed over it. When he hurt me, it came crashing down as I realized that even having that wall up all this time didn’t protect me from someone who knew how to scale it, that was a professional climber and thief. The realization that I can be hurt, just as bad, if not more, if I kept the wall up, and continued to lie to myself, finally tore it down.

this was my cold black heart

So I become someone else, someone new. I’m not sure who the new me is yet. I’m not sure how to love someone, I don’t know what it should feel like when someone is honest with me and doesn’t have to work to climb a wall to get to my heart. I am glad this happened though, it awoke my heart. I had forgotten what it was like to fall in love with someone. Before him, I was so bitter, so jaded, I swore I’d never get married, that marriage was for suckers. It was a good defense mechanism, it served it’s purpose to get me through school and what I needed at the time. It also probably destroyed a few attempts at relationships over the last few years. I realize my friends, family, hell even people reading this may hate Mr. NY now. But I can see something good come out of this in the end. Me.

Going through all this, new found heart I guess you could call it, has me at a place in my life I’ve never been before. I think I’m ok with it though, not knowing what will happen next. It feels kind of out of my control, which isn’t a feeling I’ve ever liked, but I let it go, and somehow, I still feel ok not having control. I kind of feel like a weight has been lifted, I feel carefree.

07
Aug
10

boo hoo, cry me a river


kinda looks like him too!

I woke up to an email from Mr. NY today.  Remember Mr. NY? He likes to get drunk and want me back. He’s still living in NY, headed to Croatia, but says he’s coming back for me. boo hoo dude, cry me a river. Who wants to read it? Ok…

“I’m so stupid I should of never left *insert state* or ur side past few days its all I could think bout.   If uve ever heard loneststar.  Amazed. I heard it tnite n I dropped to my knees asking god y I’m even here.  I’m comin back after I’m finished payin respect to my grandfathers grave in Croatia”

Sent at like 2 something a.m. from his blackberry. What is he thinking with this? I have no intention of replying to said message. I almost think I should reply though with some needy clingy message, it might be the only way to keep him away, but it could backfire too. If I ignore it, it will probably just drive him to further communication, you know how guys like a chase. On the other hand, should I reply saying not to come back? I don’t want him to come back and start trying to win me back. I don’t want him in my life or to go down that road again.

All I can hope it’s it’s more bullshit, that he isn’t coming back here. Things he did can’t be forgiven. I’d never trust him again. I was stupid to trust him to begin with. Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! is all i can think right now. I want some chocolate.

*Edit and update – I replied, it was mean, it felt good. He needs to know to leave me alone. I think this will do it.

“Stop *Mr. NY, stop lying to me, things have changed. I see things clearly now, you lied to me, a lot, about so many things that I won’t bother to list them now, and because you know what you lied about. I don’t doubt that you cared about me at some point, in some way, I think it’s why you lied about so many things, because you were scared I wouldn’t like you if I knew the real you, but when it turned to lies for manipulation reasons, I was done. I’ve changed *Mr. NY, I’m not the naive person you once met. I use to wish you would just be honest with me and I could know who you really were, that you would admit to all of the lies and apologize, that you would just pick up a phone and call me. I don’t wish for you to change anymore, this behavior is why your life is where it is right now. I don’t care to speculate on your reasons anymore. I think you are a coward, a liar, a manipulator, and not someone I want in my life. I don’t even care how mad this makes you because it’s all true, and I don’t want to hear it anymore. Goodbye Mr. NY. ”

*Mr. NY is substituted for his real name.

I think, hope, and yes, even pray, this will do it, that he will not reply, that he will leave me alone now. If he doesn’t, I won’t reply anymore. I’m actually really done. I hope he’s mad, I really hope he’s furious, I hope it ruins his weekend like he ruined so many for me. I hope with me finally saying what I wanted to say, how I really feel, that I can move on, and really ignore him from now on.

06
Aug
10

Law of Attraction? or not?


Thinking about the article below, how it’s affected my relationships with the opposite sex, it brings me back to this whole self fulfilling prophecy thing again. The only issue I have with the Universal Law of Attraction is that I fear for myself at least, keeping such a positive focus on the future and what I want, would I not become prone to having the proverbial wool pulled over my eyes so to speak? Yet, looking for signs as I do, that someone is lying, being deceptive, and keeping my guard up, does that not according to this hypothesis bring just that into my life? This is my struggle right now. I want to be positive, it’s in my nature to want to be trusting and to want the beautiful perfect life, but am I a fool to not self protect a little?

I have thought about this with regards to the last few attempted relationships. Mr. NY, when I was open to anything, to happiness, he fell in love with me (or at least said he did), but when I worried because he went home and his behavior changed slightly after 24 hours, he became the liar I had thought he would be. Next up were a string of guys I dated casually that met all of my expectations of being scum bags. Then there was “Napoleon” (ya, he was short), he was really awesome, but like most short men, lied about his height, when we met, even though I liked him, I knew getting over Mr. NY that I was bound to rebound and hurt the next guy, so what did I do? exactly what I thought, found a nice guy, hurt him, and moved on. Then Brown comes along, I was back to healed, open, dating, and seeing what was out there, being objective. I wasn’t turned off by him, but didn’t really have any thoughts on him in particular. He didn’t seem overly zealous over me, which was a relief, but I did want to get to know him. Once we had the “horrible sex”, the way too soon sex, my mind went to worrying that it was too soon, that he’d now freak out and move on. It was exactly what happened, and I don’t think had I not worried about it, had I been cas. about it, he probably would have been too. I won’t even bring up the gay man, ok, I will, I think Browns conventional views and having a problem openly with my open minded views made me look for someone, subconsciously the opposite, and the gay man that participated in mass orgies, was JUST that! Then S shows up, after Brown lied to me about being busy working when he was really on okcupid. S is the epitome of a liar, I think after the last few experiences with liars, I was in the mindset all men are liars, but really, not like this. Nothing S told me was true I don’t think, he was a sick sick individual. Did I invite all of this? Can I reverse any of it? What are your thoughts?  I’d like to hear what other people think about the power of thoughts and what their balance is.

The Universal Law of Attraction
By Mohammed | January 11, 2007

It’s a common phenomenon. Almost everyone can relate. You start looking for a new car, something special, something not like anyone else’s, something unusual. You pick out what seems to be a unique, unusual choice of a special red car and all of a sudden, there it is– your red car, the one you thought was only yours. It’s on every street corner. It is at every stoplight. You see three of these red cars just driving down the freeway. You never saw these cars before. What happened? How did all of these people get your unique red car at the same time?

Well the fact of the matter is that your brain is seeing the red cars that were always there. Since you picked out this car for yourself, that car has become special for you and now you are noticing what was really there all along.

It’s called the “Reticular Activation System” or RAS. It is the part of your brain that automatically filters out what is not important to you and brings your attention to things that are important to you. We all have it. Many a Mom will tell you that they can pick out their own child’s voice within the chorus of many children’s voices. A Mom will be sleeping soundly through noise from many directions and her baby makes a small whimper and she’s wide-awake. Our brains automatically filter what is important and what is not important to us.

Basically the Reticular Activation System is how the Law of Attraction works. We get what we focus on; we create what we think about and the RAS system of our brains just helps this process along.

There are so many misconceptions regarding the Law of Attraction. It seems odd that if this is a Universal Law why people tend to argue with it. Nobody argues with gravity. Of course, gravity is not nearly so misunderstood.

The Law of Attraction is not a new concept. It has been with us since ancient times, which only makes sense if it is a Universal Law. It is mentioned in the Bible
“For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”
Proverbs 23:7

Buddha taught about the Law of Attraction
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become”
Buddha 562-483 B.C.

In the early part of the 20th century many books were written about the Law of Attraction, such as “As a Man thinketh” by James Allen, “The Master Key” by Charles Haanel and one of the most popular books of all time “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.

Yet there are those who still argue and express their disbelief. A common argument is that proponents of the Law of Attraction claim that all they have to do is think their lofty thoughts and all of their dreams come true. This could not be further from the truth. The thoughts create the opportunities and the ideas AND the motivation and inspiration to take the ACTION to make it come true.

The Joy in creating comes from developing and dreaming in your own mind but a large part of the FUN of creating comes from the Action taken. Not many achievers are content to sit on the beach and dream of success. There is no fun and there is no challenge in that. It’s a joy to dream the dream, to be attracted to the way and to take the action to make your dreams come true. Sitting on the beach daydreaming may be fun for an hour or two but how boring to live a life like that. Taking action to create your dreams is where the fun and joy in creating comes, not just from the dreams in your own mind.

So Dream the Dream and your RAS will take over and you will be inspired and guided on the right action to take. Take the Action and the Law of Attraction will bring your dream to you.

This article is included in the January 21, 2007 edition of the The Personal Development

04
Aug
10

Updates and such


So we’ll start with the Liar “S”, he called twice last night, the first time I was on the phone with a friend in Cali who had captured 3 weird bugs that were freaking her out in a jar and we were screaming like little girls trying to figure out what they were… good times. The next time I was in bed, dozing off, but still reading Twilight (ya, I just got around to that book). Then he texted, saying he thinks he got his texting fixed. I ignored all of it, till this morning. The conversation follows.

Me: Yes, I got ur message this morning, phone was on silent, went to be early, at work now.

(ok, I lied… but I figure if he can lie like 700 times, what’s one little lie about ignoring him gonna hurt?)

S: Cool… I was just making sure it’s fixed now

Me: What was wrong with it? Had to restart ur phone? Mine is a spaz sometimes, I just turn it off and on and it fixes the problem

S: Some how ATT took away my texting so I had to call them and yell a little… so what are your plans after work?

Me: Job training tonight for my temp job 😀

(I really intended to do this tonight, but my tummy got really upset from eating junk food for lunch, which I never do)

S: Cool.. maybe tomorrow we can meet up at <insert local restaurant here>

I got the last text while on my way to the fat Dr. Which I’ll talk about in a little while, cause it’s awesome. But I didn’t reply, cause I was driving 70 mph in traffic, then I just forgot, oops. So if he texts or calls, I have to tell him. “I’m not interested in meeting you now, you lied to me, which is a deal breaker. You said your texting was working fine, you were texting other people with out problem, it was just me you couldn’t text, then when you were desperate to get in touch with me, you texted with a lame excuse that doesn’t match up, I don’t date liars, maybe you should consider that with the next girl you meet. Honesty is always the best policy.”

Crap… he just texted again, asking if I was done with my online training…. ugh…

NEXTTTTTTTT….. I sent Browns’s  sunglasses today, snail mail, but I figure they will get there tomorrow, he’s only like 14 miles away. (I forgot I had his address still in my gps from the first time I drove over there, so I just used that to mail them). He’s still on okcupid A LOT, and despite what I great guy I think he is, he blew it, which makes me sad. He lied to me, and maybe it wasn’t to get in my pants, it was to spare my feelings when he had a change of heart, but I’m not sure I find that acceptable, even though on occasion I am guilty of it too. And even then, he could have had the balls to say “I’m sorry, my feelings changed, I’m not interested in seeing you anymore.” I hate cowards as much as liars. I enclosed a very short note in the package that said only “wanted to get these back to you. Sorry things didn’t work out, but it was probably for the best, I guess sometimes things happen for a reason.” and added a smiley face and signed it. Was it nice? no… it was bitchy in disguise. It was ambiguous, it was cold and uncaring, and he’ll wonder what it means forever. I know, I know… but revenge is a dish best served cold. I could have smashed them to bits, but then who still has the upper hand? I like to end things the way they started, with me having all the hand. 😀 I figure he’ll text me and say thanks, I won’t reply. I have nothing to say.

So, no other prospects right now, maybe I’ll go to the local bar that has dollar beer tomorrow night, find a dollar redneck or two…Sometimes this really hot separated customer of mine goes in there on Wed. nights, but he seems scared of me, despite being flirty. Maybe I need to be more flirty? Eh…we’ll see.

Oh… the fat Dr. I go to a weight loss clinic, I gained like 30 lbs. over the course of a few years while in school. Going to work all day, school all night, I didn’t have time to cook anything, I was so on the go I rarely grocery shopped, every meal was eaten out. So, in the last 2 months since I saw my horrible graduation pictures, I’ve lost 20. I take Phentermine and Hcg shots. Today was my 3rd visit and my last month on the pills, then they taper me off, but I figure I can drop the last 10 lbs. this month so when they taper me I can drop another 5 as a buffer for when I’m off them. The pills make me happy, not hungry, full of energy, and well… buzzed sometimes. I likey! But they are addictive, they are amphetamines (I don’t deny what I know as a nurse), so I will have to stop taking them and manage my weight like I use to. Down side, they made me start smoking again, I had quit for over a year, but the pills make me crave it like a crack fiend craves crack. So I’ll have to quit

02
Aug
10

red flags?


So this guy “S”, lets call him, got my number before I deleted my okcupid account. We talked a little, then I replied to one of his texts and never heard from him again. Until last night when he called. He’s playing the “I texted you twice” card, then the “I guess my phone sucks”. I have NEVER really heard of someone not getting texts. I mean, I’ve yet to see his phone, maybe if it’s ancient, there could be an issue, but more than likely, he’s lying. That is the first red flag I’ve seen. To me it’s a huge one though. My neighbor Deere did that to my friend Vol when he was dating her. But his roommate told me he gets them all right away, he just tells her he didn’t because he doesn’t want to talk to her. He thinks she likes him too much. Ugh… men, mind games are BAD. So when S played that card with me, I said “I’ve never heard of anything like that happening, I’ve gotten texts all day, there is nothing wrong with my phone, and the most ancient phones can still send a text”. I’m NOT letting anyone get away with that game, he knows I think he’s lying.

Second red flag… he starts talking about the women who have online profiles. The fake ones first, he says he messaged one and she was rude to him, so the told her off for being a fake profile. Then he says how the girls that say “I want a nice guy” drive him crazy because they don’t know what they want and when presented with a nice guy they treat him like shit and hurt him. So he just messages them and tells them off to destroy them. I am feeling that he doesn’t deal well with rejection. Clearly he’s been hurt, and I know men love revenge, they need that rebound girl, they need to feel like they taught someone a lesson for hurting them. The question is, just how bad off is this guy? Is he out to crush someone? He doesn’t talk bad about all women, he has a female roommate, who strangely enough is from the same place as me, grew up on the same roads, all that, but is 15 years younger than me and moved here with her boyfriend. We chatted while he was in the bathroom last night, she’s a sweet young girl, she was fascinated that we went to the same Jr. High, but I was there before she was born.

He says he’ll call tonight, if he does, I need to find out some important issues, to see how he will treat me. His parents, are they together still, how does his father treat his mom, what’s his relationship with his mom? This is the biggest indicator of how he will be in a relationship. Not that it’s the tell all, people can actively choose to not be like their parents when they come from a less than ideal situation. But it’s rare. There is a lot to consider and when you ask questions and quietly sit back and let someone’s mouth fly, you learn a lot about them, especially when they are nervous. I’m going to play the therapist role and get him talking, and do some “active listening” next time we talk. I want to see just what motivates this guy, what he’s looking for, not what he says he’s looking for, but what he REALLY is doing online. I also want to know how burned he is by women.

What sucks is that I have to screen so carefully, that there are so many messed up people out there, I don’t want to be like this, I really don’t. But I’m tired of the same old crap, different day, in my life. I’m done settling for less, I deserve the best because I give the best. A lot of men say I ask too much, I just ask them, if I have all these wonderful qualities, why shouldn’t I expect a man to as well? Why don’t these men want to step up and be the best man they can be if I want to be the best woman I can be? At least it’s easy to weed these men out fast!

29
Jul
10

Ladies, it’s YOUR FAULT you are single!


Please note the sarcasm in the title ladies, no need to tell me off, I’m on your side, mostly. If you have done online dating, or hell, have a facebook page, you have seen the ad’s for these self proclaimed dating and relationship gurus. They are going to tell you how to catch and keep your man, and why the love of your life bolted. Then they are going to tell you how to fix it…. for a small fee of course. Plus you need to buy their book… and all 7 of their programs on DVD… and of course, don’t forget to subscribe to their newsletter so they can pitch every new product they have at you on a daily basis.

This is my new project to help men with their dating issues, you know you love it!

Ok, so I was curious, just why do men take off when things get serious? And could these self proclaimed gurus’s have any insight? I mean, I was just under the impression men weren’t as self actualized as women, and of course, the dangley things between their legs make them act like pigs. Who knew it was such an in depth subject that we needed this much information! After all, Evan Marc Katz, one of the coaches newsletters said “We men care about two main things: Are you sexy? Are you fun to be around? If you are, we’re coming back for more.” REALLY? That is all there is to it? Wow, I should be swarming with engagement proposals if that’s the case! Huh… so why is it that the men in my life keep getting scared? Well according to Christian Carter it’s because I tried to talk to them, about feeeeeeelings! GASP! *insert me singing “feeeeelllings” right here* Who ever heard of adults acting like adults and talking? I should have not tried to talk to them. I should have played coy, hard to get, not ever called them, or done anything nice for them, and acted like a stripper on a pole all day long… THAT is what men want according to him! Because according to him, it’s MY fault when a man bolts.

Let me say that I do know I’m accountable for some of the times when a man has bolted from me. I clearly see where I’ve gone wrong. The funny thing is, men act needy and clingy too and I’m the one that bolts from them. Believe me, I know all about a level 4 clinger and have had to deal with dumping one, it’s not easy. I also have dated some men that are mature normal and capable of talking about a relationship and where it’s going without being scared. What I don’t like about what these people are saying is that it is the woman’s fault, we are yet to take on another burden, we are now supposed to be responsible for someone else, their emotional maturity, insecurities, and commitment issues.

Christian Carter said today that after a guy starts to distance himself from you, you have 2 choices “Choice #1) Try Talking To Him” or “Choice #2) Inspire His Devotion Again”…. Riiiiiiigggghhhhtttt… because you shouldn’t ever try to talk to a man like an adult, you have to trick him into liking you. The thing I have such a problem with is this; once a man has one foot out the door, I mean, by the time we realize it, it’s too late to do anything. Their decision is made that they don’t want to be with you anymore. He says “I get that it can be a frightening idea that all it takes is just a few wrong words or actions as a woman and “Wham!”… the man in your life that you’ve been sharing so much of yourself with is suddenly not feeling it for you anymore.” in reply to a woman asking for advice. WOW, wait, did he just totally blame this man’s commitment issues totally on her? I get what he’s saying, don’t act needy and clingy. But what if this woman asking him why, wasn’t needy and clingy, what if the guy has issues that she can’t do anything about, are you still going to try to sell her your book…. looks like by the end of the email you have tried books and DVD programs.

Refer to my blog here. This was the end of Brown and I. I had done nothing up until that point that was needy, clingy, asked for attention, or was otherwise different from how I had been all along. I am just like my blogs in real life, just add a little sexy in there. I’m a smart ass, straight shooter, playful, silly, stupid, klutzy, smart, and yes, sometimes bitchy woman. He knew this the first time I met him, I don’t try to hide who I am, I embrace it, and everyone else should too. Yes, I had voiced a concern to him that we slept together too soon. All I said was 8 words “Do you think we had sex too soon?”. Those 8 little words were taken that I was needy, clingy, acting funny? How is that possible based on my previous behavior? I really want to know why I can’t have an open discussion about sex with someone I’m doing it with? Does that mean I can’t say “a little to the left” or “faster, harder, slower” or any other guidance during the act too? What exactly am I allowed to say that won’t be construed as “needy”? If I said “I wish we had more sex” I doubt that would cause such miscommunication. His reaction to my question was based on past experience with a clinger, not on my past behavior. So then when I was positive I was getting the brush off, I figured “eh, what the hell, I’ll try to give him his shit back, if he doesn’t reply, I’ll trash them”… dude tells me to “dial down the crazy”. WTF? You can see the conversation there. I wasn’t needy, clingy, as a matter of a fact, I was pissed by the end of it. I can’t give you exact words before I quoted the conversation because it would give away personal information, but I promise, it was NOT crazy, or needy, I just asked first if I should toss them, or second if I should pass them along to him if that was easier since he didn’t want to see me. All he had to do was say “ya, do that”, but his own guilt issues and well asshole issues, caused him to lump me with his crazy ex and every other clinger he’s had experience with, and also to attempt to make me feel bad, thus eliminating his guilt over pulling the disappearing act, seeing other women, and putting the blame back on me. You see what happened here? I do. And by the way, I’m bringing his glasses to work tomorrow to have a mutual person we both know pass them along to him, outta spite, instead of being the “crazy” he wants me to be and smashing them. Ya, I’m a little pouty, smashy would have been so fun. Damn ethics.

Sorry for the detour, I just think that example was important to drive home a point. Ladies, the thing is this, these “gurus” are out to make money. What they say about men isn’t right for all men, or even the majority of men. Movies like “The Ugly Truth” make it look like it’s up to us to be this perfect dream woman for this totally screwed up, commitment phobic, non-self actualized man. It’s a funny movie, don’t get me wrong, I own it, it totally cracks me up. And if you want that burden and you want to fake who you are for the duration of your relationship or rest of your life to catch that kind of man, by all means, take their advice and change who you are, but i promise you, he’s still going to lie to you and cheat on you and leave you anyway in the end. And where are the books for him, on how to not think we are all clingers and psychos? How about some of them fix their issues for once? Why the hell do I always have to compensate for some exgirlfriends issues? I’m telling you all, I’ve had it up to here. Do you see how high that is, well it’s as high as I can make it go, so deal with it, but I’m holding my hand up REALLY high!

So here is a little relationship advice for all of you. Men and women. Get over it, your past is not your future, your ex is not the same person you are dating now. If you can’t forgive them, yourself, and forget the pain you once felt, you should not be dating again. Get a therapist and get over it. Stop with these guru’s and go to a therapist if you want real advice, a book or newsletter or seminar can’t tell you what is wrong with your specific relationship. If you keep having the same issue over and over and over, go to a shrink if you can’t see what it is you are doing wrong, hell, ask a good friend to help you look at things. Maybe it’s not what you do, but who you pick that is the problem… Maybe if we all take our heads out of our asses for a while we can figure this out and learn to have happy relationships.

Ok, I really just wanted to use this image cause it's funny




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