Archive for the 'leaping to my death would have been more fun' Category

01
Nov
10

Sheep


Them

I went to a bar crawl Saturday night for Halloween. I am so disappointed in the city and people for their lack of Halloween spirit. Yes, people dressed up, but they were all the same… girls in short slutty costumes that weren’t even scary or halloween themed, and guys all either trying to be funny or macho, again, no scary. It was like watching a flock of sheep herded from one pasture to another. I only saw one other vampire, and she really was less than creative with it, only wore fangs with no other costume. Okay, no costume would have fit her rather gigantic size, but still, be more creative.

scared of an std maybe?

The winner of the contest was some guy dressed up as “1000 dildos”, yes, he had like 1000 dildos all over his body. LeSigh. I live near the most soulless, hypocritical, pretentious, city I’ve ever been to. Since when is Halloween about dressing up as slutty as possible to attract male attention? Really? I want to know when it lost it’s fright and became a sex fest? Or is just this city? Cause quite honestly, for the bible belt, the women sure do have a lot of fake boobs and bleached out hair they like to flaunt in VERY skimpy clothing while drunk and kissing another woman! The only thing scary about these women is what disease you

are you kidding?

may catch from messing with them! If only I’m kidding. As we left, I saw one group of people, dressed in real Halloween costumes. Out of the 5000+ that I saw all night. I’m sure there were a few more, but mostly, this is what I saw.

Me?

Maybe it’s me that needs to loosen up? Maybe I need to be more comfortable morally degrading myself for the attention of men, and in some of their cases women. Am I that much of a black sheep? I just feel like they are soulless, mindless, heartless, zombies or something down there. All made from the same cookie cutter and don’t have a mind of their own. They worship the disgusting slutty reality stars and celebrities that are out of control and think they are role models.

It’s not just Halloween that has me down, it’s a lot of things. Remember C1 and C2? I was with C1 Saturday night, she got a call from C2 saying she left something personal under the mattress in the guest room when she moved out in such a hurry. Of course C1 and I can’t wait to get home and find the dildo and lesbian porn that she is so embarrassed to have and make fun of her… not that we knew what it was right? But at least we laughed all night. When we finally did get back to the house to have a look under the mattress, we were right about only one thing. The dildo. The rest was quite a shocker. There was pot, a pipe, a spoon, a wire mesh thing, a baggie with white residue in it, and some sort of crack pipe/rock smoking pipe (I’m guessing, I’ve only seen them not handled one) that we didn’t take out of it’s bag to examine closer. C1 was furious that drugs were brought into her house, I wouldn’t have gone to the extremes to be rid of it that she did, but whatever. She smashed it all with a hammer, and threw it in a dumpster not near her house. But it does explain why C2 was so insane!

Sunday night we scared trick or treaters at her house. I dressed inĀ  a black cloak with vampire makeup and hid in a tree. People thought I was a statue/prop, until I moved, and in some cases chased them down the street for throwing things at me. One kid about 14 got violent, but he was vandalizing my friends yard, kicking over a tombstone prop, when he saw me, he began swinging a large pillow case full of candy at me. I took him by the arm and marched him to the cop living next door, and then to his father who didn’t have a word with him until I got mad enough take the kid by the arm. I guess had I been a statue, his kid destroying property was ok, but since i was a human, he said something. Mostly it was pretty funny though, several parents saw me and set their kids up, some took pictures of me, some couldn’t decide if I was a real person or not. I was amused until the kid that tried to beat my head in with the sack of candy.

On yet another front of the weekend, my neighbor/hairdresser has been telling me I need to meet her fiance’s brother, that we would really hit it off. Friday night when I got off work, he was there on the back deck and we all started talking. We did hit it off in some ways, I could see being friends with him, but I just don’t care to date anyone. And should someone want to date me, they would have to really put forth a lot of effort with me, and be sure they are the right kind of guy for me because anyone who doesn’t think they can live up to my standards, well, don’t bother, I’ll just dump them anyway. Also, physically, he was a little “big” for me, dressed sloppy, and suspect he would feel quite comfortable with the sheep at the bar crawl on Saturday. Not that he went, he was going sailing at the beach. Which in at least one way makes him cool enough to be my friend, for now at least.

 

Which brings me back to the why don’t I want a boyfriend thing… I wish there was a man out there that met all the things I want in a man. What are those things you ask? Well first, he’s upfront about his intentions with me and understands my scrutiny in not just taking his word that he’s honorable. Did I mention he has to be honorable? I like the idea of old fashioned romance, I want to be courted, respected, by a man, not a manboy who can’t make up his mind or is too scared to go after what he wants in all aspects of his life. Not some moron who tells me how he feels via. text message or email. A big part is also intelligence, not necessarily book smart, but someone who is capable of knowing and doing good. Someone capable of reasoning and figuring out difficult situations. My list of apparently unrealistic wants goes on… but I won’t because quite frankly I don’t want to hear the onslaught of men telling me to lower my standards. I’d rather be alone.

I really feel like after the busy weekend I need to just retreat somewhere quiet and alone for a while. I just can’t deal with social things right now. I can’t deal with the sheep.

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06
Oct
10

Crazy people are… well, Crazy


So I have this friend, she’s nuts, I mean really really nuts. I don’t have to explain this to some of you who know some of the stories but for those that don’t I’ll just give you one of the most interesting stories since I’ve known her in the last 5 years. And that will also ring in crazy number two to help understand the current situation. She was also the one I went zip lining with a few weekends ago. Remember the car ride straight to hell? Yup, more of her!

The Beach Story

Last May after my graduation Mr. NY was headed to the beach with all his friends from back home for his birthday for a week. He was leaving from the beach to go back to NY, and you all know how that ended… in case you forget, he never came back from NY. But anyway, he begged me to come to the beach for the weekend before he left to see me one more time. So I’m going to bring Crazy1 and Crazy2, (C1 and C2 from here on out). C1 and C2 are roommates since C1’s husband left her and she lost her job all in the same week, C2 and her made friends at her new job and C2 was being foreclosed on and needed a place to live. C1 and I have been friends a few years, yes, she’s totally nuts… but, she’s fun, and her being crazy makes for interesting times, usually. C1 is joking with Mr. NY’s friend, she thinks he’s hot, he REALLY can’t stand her. Mr. NY tells me his friend, lets call him DB, really doesn’t want C1 to come to the beach, he’s scared of her, but we joke and I say C1 has huge boobs and likes to flash them and to tell DB. So he does and DB makes a joke to C1 about playing strip poker, she says she doesn’t know how to play strip poker but she’ll play strip baseball since the yanks are playing the mets while we are there. He agrees. C2 catches wind of this text joking going on between the 4 of us and FREAKS the fuck out. She calls me hysterical saying she’s not going because she knows Mr. NY’s friends she’s never met are going to rape her or make her show her tits. uh… okay… it was a joke, mostly an inside one between me and Mr. NY because DB did NOT really want to see C1’s boobs. So C2 backs out and flips out for a few hours. C1 and I decide to go anyway, I was going with or without them, but Mr. NY didn’t want me driving alone and didn’t trust my car to make the long trip. So we get there…. dun dun dun….

DB is locked in the master bedroom, which was supposed to mine and Mr. NY’s alone and won’t come out. He won’t answer when we knock, nothing! So we go with Mr. NY’s other friend who is nice but quiet and we hang out at the beach and drink a few beers that night and kinda pass out early. I got stuck on the sofa bed with Mr. NY, NOT happy about that! C1 and Mr. NY’s quiet friend were in the other bedroom which had twin beds. The next day me and C1 go to the beach and DB has awoken and all the boys watch soccer while we are at the beach. We come back and DB is WASTED so is Mr. NY and his team has lost the match. The other friend decides to drive home early since he’s from close by. So now it’s just the 4 of us this evening. Mr. NY and I really wanted some alone time, some quiet time to talk and be a couple, nothing big but we hadn’t had any privacy except the shower since I got there. So the baseball game comes on and they decide the rules for strip baseball. Mr. NY is outside smoking and comes in and C1 has already lost her shirt and since I’m on her team DB turns to tell me I have to take off my shirt, Mr. NY says “hell no! we aren’t playin this shit with dem” and grabs me by the arm and pulls me into the bedroom with the twin beds. So we pull them together to make one bed and try to turn on the tv, which doesn’t work, so he runs and switches the tv’s from the other bedroom so we can watch something. In the mean time, they continue with strip baseball in the other room. Last time I passed thru to the kitchen they were both naked and hiding under sheets of the pulled out sofa bed… I didn’t go back in.

Sudden Mr. NY’s phone goes off, it’s a text from DB, then there is a knock on our door, he panics and tries to show me the phone and what it says but I can’t see, so he throws the phone at me and goes to open the door, it’s C1. She says DB wants to talk to Mr. NY outside on the patio, he eyes his phone for me to read the message. C1 tells me DB just told her they found out they have to pay extra for us staying there and we have to leave. Meanwhile I know DB has hidden from C1 the first night, and expressed to Mr. NY he want’s NOTHING to do with her and doesn’t like her at all. So I finally get his phone figured out and read the text which says “come outside, keep it on the DL, don’t tell ur girl”. Of course, first thing he does is tell me, he always did. So after she says all this I go outside and Mr. NY is hanging over the balcony and sighing and tells me to go back to our room and he’ll be right there. So finally he comes in and tells me it’s not true. DB did something with C1 and is trying to get away from her. In the mean time C1 is freaking out because we are 4 hours from home with no where to stay at 11 at night. I’m having to lie to her because I don’t want to further freak her out. Mr. NY and I come up with a plan to tell her he called the leasing agency and they said no, they don’t have to pay extra it was a mistake on DB’s part.

I go outside and C1 comes with me and proceeds to tell me something happened between her and DB and I’m a horrible selfish person because of putting her in this situation and leaving her alone with him. I asked if he raped her, nope she says but she won’t tell me, and Mr. NY won’t tell me and I’m being told off for going to see my boyfriend and ask for a few hours alone with him before he leaves town for 3 weeks????? Finally I get it out of her. She tells me they started fooling around and she asked if he had a condom and he said no, so she said they weren’t having sex then and he asked her to give him head then and she said no, so he said “okay, can I titty fuck you?” she laughed in his face and he jerked off on her chest instead. She let him do this mind you, she could have gotten up and gotten dressed and stopped this at any point. But she’s humiliated because after he came on her, he got up and went outside and said “I’m good” and smoked a cigarette and came up with this cockamamie story about us having to pay to get rid of her. So after I’m done being told off, since it’s my fault, I go back and tell Mr. NY what she told me, he’s hysterical and tells me what DB told him happened. DB said he was wearing a “rape whistle” and she kept trying to kiss him and he’d try to blow it and she’d stop him. So then she tries to give him a hand job and her hands were like sand paper and he asked her to just blow him, she said no, so he DID titty fuck her and get up and say “I’m good”. Well… put the two stories together and you have the truth somewhere. Me and Mr. NY laughed with our heads in the pillows for a good 20 minutes after comparing stories and figuring out what to do. In the mean time DB figured out we stole his TV and now locking himself back in his room would be much less pleasant so he proceeded to text Mr. NY stupid pictures all night and C1 went to sleep on the sofa. We got up the next morning and left quickly.She told me off in the car for 4 hours on the way home, because it was somehow my fault she had a bad time. I should have gone to a club with her like she wanted. o_O She knew the only reason I went to the beach was to see Mr. NY! Why would I ditch him for some bar? Duh…

Which brings us to the present. I didn’t talk to C1 much of the summer because of that. She treated me bad on the trip and Mr. NY and DB and the other friend said not just then, but other times they saw her around me she treated me bad and they were going to stop it if she didn’t knock it off. I agree. I don’t ride places where she is the driver far away now. But I really didn’t see much of her all summer because I was so mad at the way she talked to me and her C2 roommate freaking out and now feeling justified because C1 told her she was right. ugh… so annoying.

 

not a fan of this dog

 

I took care of C1’s dog last weekend, this annoying monster of a dog. Yappy little obnoxious shithead stupid dog. But, it’s a dog, so I try to be kind to it. C1 got back from her trip to find out C2 had moved out, with no notice, no note, nothing while she was away. Now they are fighting. C2 keeps texting C1 and can’t even face her with a phone call! Dude! Who does that? Turns out because C2 has a new boyfriend and C1 doesn’t, C2 tells C1 she’s jealous of her new boyfriend…. lmao… really? C2’s boyfriend is a loser, drunk, and weirdo. She’s totally off her rocker and can’t face anything, she’s a chicken, and totally flaky. Hence why C1 has to have me watch her dog and a neighbor watch her cat when she has a roommate that lives there. She can’t even let the dog out into the fenced backyard or feed a cat once a day. Crazy people are just so, CRAZY! I really don’t want to hear about it anymore, but C1 keeps calling and texting me asking what to do, what to say. I’m sick with a cold, I really am out of it and don’t know what to tell her. I would have been done with the chick a long ass time ago. I don’t do chick drama, period, I just don’t. I can’t stand this shit and C1 has a life full of it. When drama comes knocking at my door, I move to another continent, period, so again, why is this person coming to me for advice? I don’t do drama, my advice is to walk away from C2! Change the locks, and forget you ever knew the bitch. Ugh… I can’t type anymore, I need to take some nyquill and go to bed. I just thought you all would enjoy the amusing “beach story” as some of my friends have come to know it and retell it.




This is Meeeeeeeeeeeee!

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