Archive for the 'women' Category

01
Nov
10

Sheep


Them

I went to a bar crawl Saturday night for Halloween. I am so disappointed in the city and people for their lack of Halloween spirit. Yes, people dressed up, but they were all the same… girls in short slutty costumes that weren’t even scary or halloween themed, and guys all either trying to be funny or macho, again, no scary. It was like watching a flock of sheep herded from one pasture to another. I only saw one other vampire, and she really was less than creative with it, only wore fangs with no other costume. Okay, no costume would have fit her rather gigantic size, but still, be more creative.

scared of an std maybe?

The winner of the contest was some guy dressed up as “1000 dildos”, yes, he had like 1000 dildos all over his body. LeSigh. I live near the most soulless, hypocritical, pretentious, city I’ve ever been to. Since when is Halloween about dressing up as slutty as possible to attract male attention? Really? I want to know when it lost it’s fright and became a sex fest? Or is just this city? Cause quite honestly, for the bible belt, the women sure do have a lot of fake boobs and bleached out hair they like to flaunt in VERY skimpy clothing while drunk and kissing another woman! The only thing scary about these women is what disease you

are you kidding?

may catch from messing with them! If only I’m kidding. As we left, I saw one group of people, dressed in real Halloween costumes. Out of the 5000+ that I saw all night. I’m sure there were a few more, but mostly, this is what I saw.

Me?

Maybe it’s me that needs to loosen up? Maybe I need to be more comfortable morally degrading myself for the attention of men, and in some of their cases women. Am I that much of a black sheep? I just feel like they are soulless, mindless, heartless, zombies or something down there. All made from the same cookie cutter and don’t have a mind of their own. They worship the disgusting slutty reality stars and celebrities that are out of control and think they are role models.

It’s not just Halloween that has me down, it’s a lot of things. Remember C1 and C2? I was with C1 Saturday night, she got a call from C2 saying she left something personal under the mattress in the guest room when she moved out in such a hurry. Of course C1 and I can’t wait to get home and find the dildo and lesbian porn that she is so embarrassed to have and make fun of her… not that we knew what it was right? But at least we laughed all night. When we finally did get back to the house to have a look under the mattress, we were right about only one thing. The dildo. The rest was quite a shocker. There was pot, a pipe, a spoon, a wire mesh thing, a baggie with white residue in it, and some sort of crack pipe/rock smoking pipe (I’m guessing, I’ve only seen them not handled one) that we didn’t take out of it’s bag to examine closer. C1 was furious that drugs were brought into her house, I wouldn’t have gone to the extremes to be rid of it that she did, but whatever. She smashed it all with a hammer, and threw it in a dumpster not near her house. But it does explain why C2 was so insane!

Sunday night we scared trick or treaters at her house. I dressed in  a black cloak with vampire makeup and hid in a tree. People thought I was a statue/prop, until I moved, and in some cases chased them down the street for throwing things at me. One kid about 14 got violent, but he was vandalizing my friends yard, kicking over a tombstone prop, when he saw me, he began swinging a large pillow case full of candy at me. I took him by the arm and marched him to the cop living next door, and then to his father who didn’t have a word with him until I got mad enough take the kid by the arm. I guess had I been a statue, his kid destroying property was ok, but since i was a human, he said something. Mostly it was pretty funny though, several parents saw me and set their kids up, some took pictures of me, some couldn’t decide if I was a real person or not. I was amused until the kid that tried to beat my head in with the sack of candy.

On yet another front of the weekend, my neighbor/hairdresser has been telling me I need to meet her fiance’s brother, that we would really hit it off. Friday night when I got off work, he was there on the back deck and we all started talking. We did hit it off in some ways, I could see being friends with him, but I just don’t care to date anyone. And should someone want to date me, they would have to really put forth a lot of effort with me, and be sure they are the right kind of guy for me because anyone who doesn’t think they can live up to my standards, well, don’t bother, I’ll just dump them anyway. Also, physically, he was a little “big” for me, dressed sloppy, and suspect he would feel quite comfortable with the sheep at the bar crawl on Saturday. Not that he went, he was going sailing at the beach. Which in at least one way makes him cool enough to be my friend, for now at least.

 

Which brings me back to the why don’t I want a boyfriend thing… I wish there was a man out there that met all the things I want in a man. What are those things you ask? Well first, he’s upfront about his intentions with me and understands my scrutiny in not just taking his word that he’s honorable. Did I mention he has to be honorable? I like the idea of old fashioned romance, I want to be courted, respected, by a man, not a manboy who can’t make up his mind or is too scared to go after what he wants in all aspects of his life. Not some moron who tells me how he feels via. text message or email. A big part is also intelligence, not necessarily book smart, but someone who is capable of knowing and doing good. Someone capable of reasoning and figuring out difficult situations. My list of apparently unrealistic wants goes on… but I won’t because quite frankly I don’t want to hear the onslaught of men telling me to lower my standards. I’d rather be alone.

I really feel like after the busy weekend I need to just retreat somewhere quiet and alone for a while. I just can’t deal with social things right now. I can’t deal with the sheep.

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26
Oct
10

Poetry Slams


I think we have the same mom, except mine would just say “when you get a good job you should get that fixed” then she’d go get her own surgery.

one of my all time fav. slams.

Another one that is great, she’s really awesome

 

25
Oct
10

I get the best spam email because of this blog


You really got the guts to break up with me over email,bitch??!?!

Tell you what! I just made a nice compilation of your/our best scenes and put it up for download on (Insert spam link to porn site)
Oh and btw: This email just went out to your parents. I bet they didn’t know you’re into dirty stuff like this.

Cheers!
Your ex bf

Yup, I got that this morning, along with about 57823457 other wordpress bloggers I’m sure, the email list was LONG! I of course didn’t click the link, I have no need to see some porn that will infect my computer for years to come. I just think how odd it is that someone went through blog after blog collecting emails to send this weird bit of spam to! Def. the funniest spam I’ve ever gotten by far! Never seen anything remotely close to this in my inbox. Usually it’s the typical nigerian money scams, or normal spam that attempts to get me to shop on their site, but this was  a first… ah… blogging, what fun.

06
Oct
10

Crazy people are… well, Crazy


So I have this friend, she’s nuts, I mean really really nuts. I don’t have to explain this to some of you who know some of the stories but for those that don’t I’ll just give you one of the most interesting stories since I’ve known her in the last 5 years. And that will also ring in crazy number two to help understand the current situation. She was also the one I went zip lining with a few weekends ago. Remember the car ride straight to hell? Yup, more of her!

The Beach Story

Last May after my graduation Mr. NY was headed to the beach with all his friends from back home for his birthday for a week. He was leaving from the beach to go back to NY, and you all know how that ended… in case you forget, he never came back from NY. But anyway, he begged me to come to the beach for the weekend before he left to see me one more time. So I’m going to bring Crazy1 and Crazy2, (C1 and C2 from here on out). C1 and C2 are roommates since C1’s husband left her and she lost her job all in the same week, C2 and her made friends at her new job and C2 was being foreclosed on and needed a place to live. C1 and I have been friends a few years, yes, she’s totally nuts… but, she’s fun, and her being crazy makes for interesting times, usually. C1 is joking with Mr. NY’s friend, she thinks he’s hot, he REALLY can’t stand her. Mr. NY tells me his friend, lets call him DB, really doesn’t want C1 to come to the beach, he’s scared of her, but we joke and I say C1 has huge boobs and likes to flash them and to tell DB. So he does and DB makes a joke to C1 about playing strip poker, she says she doesn’t know how to play strip poker but she’ll play strip baseball since the yanks are playing the mets while we are there. He agrees. C2 catches wind of this text joking going on between the 4 of us and FREAKS the fuck out. She calls me hysterical saying she’s not going because she knows Mr. NY’s friends she’s never met are going to rape her or make her show her tits. uh… okay… it was a joke, mostly an inside one between me and Mr. NY because DB did NOT really want to see C1’s boobs. So C2 backs out and flips out for a few hours. C1 and I decide to go anyway, I was going with or without them, but Mr. NY didn’t want me driving alone and didn’t trust my car to make the long trip. So we get there…. dun dun dun….

DB is locked in the master bedroom, which was supposed to mine and Mr. NY’s alone and won’t come out. He won’t answer when we knock, nothing! So we go with Mr. NY’s other friend who is nice but quiet and we hang out at the beach and drink a few beers that night and kinda pass out early. I got stuck on the sofa bed with Mr. NY, NOT happy about that! C1 and Mr. NY’s quiet friend were in the other bedroom which had twin beds. The next day me and C1 go to the beach and DB has awoken and all the boys watch soccer while we are at the beach. We come back and DB is WASTED so is Mr. NY and his team has lost the match. The other friend decides to drive home early since he’s from close by. So now it’s just the 4 of us this evening. Mr. NY and I really wanted some alone time, some quiet time to talk and be a couple, nothing big but we hadn’t had any privacy except the shower since I got there. So the baseball game comes on and they decide the rules for strip baseball. Mr. NY is outside smoking and comes in and C1 has already lost her shirt and since I’m on her team DB turns to tell me I have to take off my shirt, Mr. NY says “hell no! we aren’t playin this shit with dem” and grabs me by the arm and pulls me into the bedroom with the twin beds. So we pull them together to make one bed and try to turn on the tv, which doesn’t work, so he runs and switches the tv’s from the other bedroom so we can watch something. In the mean time, they continue with strip baseball in the other room. Last time I passed thru to the kitchen they were both naked and hiding under sheets of the pulled out sofa bed… I didn’t go back in.

Sudden Mr. NY’s phone goes off, it’s a text from DB, then there is a knock on our door, he panics and tries to show me the phone and what it says but I can’t see, so he throws the phone at me and goes to open the door, it’s C1. She says DB wants to talk to Mr. NY outside on the patio, he eyes his phone for me to read the message. C1 tells me DB just told her they found out they have to pay extra for us staying there and we have to leave. Meanwhile I know DB has hidden from C1 the first night, and expressed to Mr. NY he want’s NOTHING to do with her and doesn’t like her at all. So I finally get his phone figured out and read the text which says “come outside, keep it on the DL, don’t tell ur girl”. Of course, first thing he does is tell me, he always did. So after she says all this I go outside and Mr. NY is hanging over the balcony and sighing and tells me to go back to our room and he’ll be right there. So finally he comes in and tells me it’s not true. DB did something with C1 and is trying to get away from her. In the mean time C1 is freaking out because we are 4 hours from home with no where to stay at 11 at night. I’m having to lie to her because I don’t want to further freak her out. Mr. NY and I come up with a plan to tell her he called the leasing agency and they said no, they don’t have to pay extra it was a mistake on DB’s part.

I go outside and C1 comes with me and proceeds to tell me something happened between her and DB and I’m a horrible selfish person because of putting her in this situation and leaving her alone with him. I asked if he raped her, nope she says but she won’t tell me, and Mr. NY won’t tell me and I’m being told off for going to see my boyfriend and ask for a few hours alone with him before he leaves town for 3 weeks????? Finally I get it out of her. She tells me they started fooling around and she asked if he had a condom and he said no, so she said they weren’t having sex then and he asked her to give him head then and she said no, so he said “okay, can I titty fuck you?” she laughed in his face and he jerked off on her chest instead. She let him do this mind you, she could have gotten up and gotten dressed and stopped this at any point. But she’s humiliated because after he came on her, he got up and went outside and said “I’m good” and smoked a cigarette and came up with this cockamamie story about us having to pay to get rid of her. So after I’m done being told off, since it’s my fault, I go back and tell Mr. NY what she told me, he’s hysterical and tells me what DB told him happened. DB said he was wearing a “rape whistle” and she kept trying to kiss him and he’d try to blow it and she’d stop him. So then she tries to give him a hand job and her hands were like sand paper and he asked her to just blow him, she said no, so he DID titty fuck her and get up and say “I’m good”. Well… put the two stories together and you have the truth somewhere. Me and Mr. NY laughed with our heads in the pillows for a good 20 minutes after comparing stories and figuring out what to do. In the mean time DB figured out we stole his TV and now locking himself back in his room would be much less pleasant so he proceeded to text Mr. NY stupid pictures all night and C1 went to sleep on the sofa. We got up the next morning and left quickly.She told me off in the car for 4 hours on the way home, because it was somehow my fault she had a bad time. I should have gone to a club with her like she wanted. o_O She knew the only reason I went to the beach was to see Mr. NY! Why would I ditch him for some bar? Duh…

Which brings us to the present. I didn’t talk to C1 much of the summer because of that. She treated me bad on the trip and Mr. NY and DB and the other friend said not just then, but other times they saw her around me she treated me bad and they were going to stop it if she didn’t knock it off. I agree. I don’t ride places where she is the driver far away now. But I really didn’t see much of her all summer because I was so mad at the way she talked to me and her C2 roommate freaking out and now feeling justified because C1 told her she was right. ugh… so annoying.

 

not a fan of this dog

 

I took care of C1’s dog last weekend, this annoying monster of a dog. Yappy little obnoxious shithead stupid dog. But, it’s a dog, so I try to be kind to it. C1 got back from her trip to find out C2 had moved out, with no notice, no note, nothing while she was away. Now they are fighting. C2 keeps texting C1 and can’t even face her with a phone call! Dude! Who does that? Turns out because C2 has a new boyfriend and C1 doesn’t, C2 tells C1 she’s jealous of her new boyfriend…. lmao… really? C2’s boyfriend is a loser, drunk, and weirdo. She’s totally off her rocker and can’t face anything, she’s a chicken, and totally flaky. Hence why C1 has to have me watch her dog and a neighbor watch her cat when she has a roommate that lives there. She can’t even let the dog out into the fenced backyard or feed a cat once a day. Crazy people are just so, CRAZY! I really don’t want to hear about it anymore, but C1 keeps calling and texting me asking what to do, what to say. I’m sick with a cold, I really am out of it and don’t know what to tell her. I would have been done with the chick a long ass time ago. I don’t do chick drama, period, I just don’t. I can’t stand this shit and C1 has a life full of it. When drama comes knocking at my door, I move to another continent, period, so again, why is this person coming to me for advice? I don’t do drama, my advice is to walk away from C2! Change the locks, and forget you ever knew the bitch. Ugh… I can’t type anymore, I need to take some nyquill and go to bed. I just thought you all would enjoy the amusing “beach story” as some of my friends have come to know it and retell it.

28
Sep
10

There baaaack…


Why must my single life feel like a scene from a suspenseful movie? It’s like you went to the movie knowing it’s going to be like this, you hear the music of impending doom, yet you still become startled at the moment of the kill.

They always come back, every stupid guy I date that screws up and pulls whatever crap he pulls, comes back. Like my sister, I suppose I’m cursed as well. First I’ll update on her ex-situation. The one that called her a few weeks ago that is. She called back, to find the number disconnected. A few days later he called again, this time she was at home with her fiance and he got her to call again. So he apologizes like he’s in a twelve step program for what he did to her, her fiance is on speaker phone the whole time, and realizes why the dude is calling isn’t an apology, he wants her back. Long story short, he said “holy crap, they really do all come back!” As if he didn’t believe us. I guess at this point in the story, you want to know which one of my slimy ex’s came back?

I saw it coming, when I signed back up for okcupid for the whole friends thing, he was circling my profile like a shark every few days, I guess hoping I’d see it and jump in the water for him to bite. Boy is he wrong! Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me. Apparently Brown also doesn’t know the saying, once bitten twice shy, either. So a few nights ago, he wrote me on there, I only checked it this morning because I was up before dawn with a dog that had to pee so bad she couldn’t wait, so I was awake, and bored. I should have stuck with watching True Blood, at least those vampires only suck your blood.

You really are a very very nice and sweet women, your very pretty and your alot of fun to be around I just thought you should know that…

This is the drunken message I got, I forgot to look to see what time it was when it was sent on the 26th, but I’m betting it was the wee hours of the morning after a very bad date. I find it funny that he felt the need to tell me things I already know about myself instead of apologize. More games I suppose, not that I didn’t expect it. See unlike my sister, my guys rarely apologize, and they don’t take four years to come back, usually it’s around four to nine weeks. Out of the three men I dated more than casually this year, all three have come back now. Darn, what do I have to look forward to for the rest of the year?

Okay, back to Brown and this stupid message. I haven’t replied, not sure that I will, or what I’d say, I need time to think about it. Since I now have the upper hand again, I intend to keep it, and replying so soon after reading it and feeling my heart accelerate with anger, I could easily blurt out something without thinking and lose hand again, and I’d really like to make him suffer. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold. I’ll think about it today, and as always take all comments into consideration. I know some of the best evil minds reside on this blog, so any advice is greatly appreciated, even if you don’t want to be evil in helping me plot revenge, feel free to speak up. I wonder though, do I care enough to get revenge? Maybe I’ll just get bored enough this week and do it for the sake of something interesting to do. I also noticed in this message the “alot” monster was set loose, which made me giggle and revisit her blog. Have a great day everyone!

20
Sep
10

New adventure? or just hell on wheels?


Over the weekend I went zip lining for the first time, I was very excited to try this as it looked like a great adventure and quite exhilarating. Um, my “friend”, lets call her “Facepalm” (this is what you want to do when you are around her), is a nut job and a half! She was so worked up over the zip lining thing she had to take 2 ativan and still almost puked, yet it was HER idea. She talked the whole way there and the whole way back. First about this guy we met when we were out like 6 months ago, and has reconnected with. Anyway, ya, so this guy is very nice, and she doesn’t know why but she’s totally “eh” with him, not that into him, because she’s obsessed with some guy from back in highschool in her home town, that wants little to do with her, except to keep her wanting him basically. So I heard all about that. Then one of the other friends is getting divorced now, and has been raised in a traditional Pakastani house her whole life and is now in the US, on her own, and single, plus drop dead gorgeous, so we hear all about her dating crap. Thankfully the other chick, is a lesbian in a long term relationship and is probably the most sane one of the group, at least she’s not guy crazy, and mostly talks about her dog. She insists we go to McD’s on the way to the place because she’s hungry and no one planned ahead to eat anything healthy. So in the drive thru she YELLS over me at the cashier at the first window “THANK YOU!!!”, then turns to me and proceeds to chew me out because “you never say thank you to the drive through people, would it kill you to thank them?” Okay, hold up, first of all, I am extremely polite, I don’t YELL anything to anyone, over anyone, I say thank you when it’s appropriate, but when someone says “thank you” to me, as they should since I’m the customer paying them, I don’t say “thank you” back, I say “you’re welcome”, one of those etiquette things I was raised with, screw me, I know manners. She then says “the next window is your last chance to be polite” and as usual, as the young girl at the window handed me the heaping pile of grease in a bag, I said “thank you” in a normal voice, then she handed me my corrected drink (they got it wrong the first time) I said “thanks”, in a normal tone. Facepalm turns to me and screeches “I can’t believe you! Why can’t you say thank you?” To which I answered in a low and very serious tone “I do say thank you, when it’s appropriate, and I say ‘you’re welcome’ as well, but I don’t YELL it over people so the entire restaurant hears me, I say things in a normal tone of voice that is between me and the person I’m speaking to”. I wanted to turn around and go home right then, cancel the whole thing and ruin everyone’s fun then point the finger at her psycho abusive behavior! I think I’m understanding why Mr. NY said that if she talked to me that way in front of him or his friends again, someone besides me was putting a stop to it. She is abusive to friends and then demands the utmost respect. Facepalm kept asking why I was so quiet… uh… between all 3 of them being lawyers and talking job stuff, and then the guy stuff, I really had nothing to contribute. Plus I was already annoyed with Facepalm whining cause some guy at her new job doesn’t like her openly. Honestly, if I worked with her, I’d be screaming “SHUT UP!” in my head all day long! Just 5 minutes of silence wouldn’t kill her, seriously.

Finally we get to the place right on time and everyone was waiting on us and ready to go early. We gear up, sign the waivers, and head out back. I’m expecting some video or something… NOPE! Straight to the course! SWEET! But… there are like 15 other people besides us! Who wants to go first they ask… some little kids jumped up first, so I was like Okay, I’m next, lets do this shit! First line is a short easy one to teach you how to break and all that. It was fun and fast though. Yay! So then I wait the 20 minutes it takes for the rest of them to get to the first platform… waiting… not my thing. Finally we get a “no stop” line that is longer and faster! No stop means, you don’t put your hand on the line to break at all, you just kinda slow down a little on the upside of the line and the guy catches you or the tree has padding strapped to it and tuck your feet because you will hit the platform edge, which isn’t padded except for one, which still really hurts btw! So like 10 of these lines later, we’re finally at the end, each platform between the trees was a 15-20 minute wait on one end of the other… not cool. Won’t go somewhere that does this big of groups again. But it was cool, I want to try some more advanced courses in some other places some time. Or try one at night, that would be awesome. I would also love to do it when it’s cool outside, to feel the cold air on my cheeks, biting making them rosy would feel so good to me.

The double line is the last one landing next to that building

So on the way home Facepalm was amusing herself and decided that she wants to be like little bunny foo foo hopping thru the forest, except she wants to “bop” men on the head with a frying pan that magically makes them fall in love with her. She wants to sell this idea on QVC. Then the topic takes a turn in the worst possible direction I can imagine… masturbation and sex toys. I’m sorry, this is not something I really care to discuss with my friends, it’s just weird, and personal, and idk… weird! Facepalm goes on and on about how she’s broken her toy and needs a new one, and she’s broken 3 toys in the last year. I’m kinda of getting repulsed by the images in my head cause well, I’m not gay, and even if I was, she wouldn’t do it for me at all. She even starts trying to find out the adam and eve stores hours and try to convince me to take her there on the way home! Uh… no thanks, shopping for vibrators with my friends does not equal a good time for me, nor does this discussion, lets change the subject, buy your shit online so it comes in a discrete brown box and I don’t have to have visuals in my mind for the rest of my life. But noooooo… 30 effin miles of this crap! I may never get turned on again. Okay, let me explain why this conversation bugs me, because not only has it turned to “I want a new toy”, it’s turned to describing the types of good toys and details I really don’t want dancing around in my head! At this point my head hurts, I’m sticky with suncreen and bug spray and sweat and want to go home! I considered bailing out of the car on the highway at 80 mph just to be rid of the images and her voice in my head.

I also got told several times “yay, I’m glad you are back to normal now, I didn’t know who you were for the last six months”, uh… I’m still the same as I have been for the last 6 months, I just made the mistake of hanging out with her and had been avoiding her. I barely talked the whole time, which was noticed and mentioned several times, but I had nothing to say, not my kind of conversations, and hardly anyone talked because she dominated every second of every conversation that she started. Ugh…. Next time… No Facepalm, no huge group, faster/higher lines.

The good part is that I really did enjoy the activity part, when we weren’t waiting for ages or the rest of the people to go. When I was on the lines speeding through the air with nothing but the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sound of me gliding across the metal line. I will definitely go back, but I will go with people who are fun and will make it a fun activity, not one I have to pretend that with each line I leap into I’m pretending to leap to my death to get away from her. She wants to go to the amusement parks halloween thing this year… I don’t think I can force myself to endure that, although it is a much shorter drive, maybe if I don’t have to ride with her and juts meet up with her I can handle it. I just don’t know though.

16
Sep
10

Wow… say the word facebook


In the title of your blog and you get very popular all of a sudden. Random people tweeting me and stuff, that’s new. And my blog link is being passed around facebook as well, and I swear, I didn’t self promote since most of my friends don’t even know I have a blog! Well, they will if they get sent the link and start browsing it and see the pics of my pets… uh…. maybe I should delete those posts, or hide them for a while till my popularity goes back to a normal level? So with this new found fame, I suppose I can now find advertisers that will pay me to sit here and show off my mad photoshop skills and spout random useless shit and get rich right? That is the American way after all! Get rich, doing what everyone else is doing. I knew that Bachelors in Studio Art would pay off some day!

So on to more important things, like my sister’s current drama. It’s like a frickin soap opera, I love it, I’m hooked, I can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode. Tonight she calls me and the voice mail goes something like this “Oooooh my gaw! oh my gaw, oh my gaw, oh my gaw! You are never going to believe this! OMG! Guess who called me? You will never guess in a million years! omg, where are you? I’m freaking out! Pick up the phone!… Beeep” The beep was her calling me right back while I was listening to the voicemail. I never finished it. I did however guess who it was. Her psychotic schizophrenic Jehovah witness exboyfriend! After four and a half years at that!

Let’s explain the back story, he was weird, like now that I know things, I also think he’s homosexual in the closet crazy weird. During the one year they were together he required her to remove all pubic hair or he wouldn’t have sex with her, on top of that, he refused to touch her with his bare hands, down there, if ya know what I mean. No oral sex, nothing but straight up, plain, sex with no foreplay. WEIRD enough for me! But it gets better! He also hears the voice of god, like really hears him in his head, he tells him things, like he’s a bad person for living with her, and other strange things I’m sure I don’t want to know. Then, one day she’s at Disney World on vacation with a friend, happiest place on earth, unless you are my sister, and he calls from home. He tells her while she’s standing in the middle of the park, he’s dumping her. See, not such a happy place is it? He’s moving out right then, while she’s out of town and taking care of her 9 cats and dog. He says he’ll come by the house a few times a day to check on them, but when she gets back he will be totally gone. Which is true, except for a few things he left. First let me list what he took, 2 things; a package of frozen steaks from the freezer, and all the change from the change jar. That is it! He left a car that didn’t run, cell phone, all his clothes, shoes, books, childhood memories, EVERYTHING! Then he disappeared, nowhere to be found to give him this stuff back!

She called his parents, brother to try to find him so he could get his stuff back. I drove up there and helped her pack it all up, we shoved what we could in the little car, and told his family to get it or it was being towed to an impound lot since the title was in his name. They did send a tow truck for it and that was the end of the story. Right?

My sister is now engaged, living with him for several years, getting married next May, I’ve mentioned being the maid of honor. Tonight, four and a half years after this douchebag left, he starts calling her, not once, but 3 times so far. She’s not answering because she’s in another state on business until tomorrow. As usual, the messages are getting crazier and crazier. She told her fiance and of course he took the opportunity to fuck with her a little. Funny part of it is, if this psycho is trying to find her, and goes to the house they lived in, she’s not there! She now rents that house out, and is in the process of evicting the tenets! The hilarity that started over us imagining him showing up outside that house yelling her name in the middle of the night had us rolling. Hoping all her problems will be solved in one night with her tenants shooting him in the face with a shotgun, thus being arrested and emptying the house and killing the psycho, or at the very least, would scare them enough to move out without her having further legal charges from eviction.

This is where the story ends… for now. Tonight she will be back home with her fiance, and she will return his crazed messages and see what he wants in his presence, for moral support, and so he can threaten him if the freak gets out of hand. She did say if he’s pregnant, it’s NOT her’s, she’s not paying child support. Surely he doesn’t think she still has the few things she couldn’t fit in the car to give back to him after 4.5 years? He said it was very important he talk to her… I’m so curious, I can barely stand it.




This is Meeeeeeeeeeeee!

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