Posts Tagged ‘cat

14
Sep
10

Protected: Crazy Cat Lady, that is me!


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08
Aug
10

Being Alone


I stole this from KaPau! cause it’s great, and I like it, and cause she’s cool like that. Also because I’ve been spending some time with myself, kind of taking a break from dating, and running around like a socialite constantly obligated to some activity. It’s been nice. I bought New Moon yesterday, I’ll finish it today I’m sure. I’m mad at the book, I’m team Edward and he disappointed me, made me cry when he left Bella. But I won’t bore you all with my teenage fantasy book, lol. I was thinking of going somewhere alone today. Maybe I’ll go to the movies. I mean, I guess I should start some laundry and vacuum the house and mop, but after that I have the whole afternoon free. I frequently go for walks along in the woods, I guess I’m not totally alone, I bring my dog, but that usually leads to her running in the creeks, getting muddy and then I have to give her a bath, which she hates, and dodges by getting on my bed and making it muddy too. I think I’ll skip nature today and stick to civilization, it’s too hot anyway, when it cools off she can go hiking again. Maybe I’ll finish my book at starbucks, I could use some coffee this morning.

Old Kittah formerly Fat Kittah

I really shouldn’t be spending a lot of money right now, I have a lot of bills coming up. My dog is due for her annual check up and shots next month, my old cat is acting kinda funny and may have to go to the vet, might just be her arthritis hurting her. My car needs this squealy belt fixed and I may need new breaks. I got screwed over last place that did this for me, and thus is why 2 years later both have to be fixed again. I just got a check from the state, turns out I had “unclaimed property” in the sum of almost $600, from some old stock dividends my mom had in my name and transferred to me when I turned 18, we still aren’t sure why they didn’t roll over to the insurance policy or why they ended up with the state, the ins. company knows my address and contact info.  So both will use this up, if not a little more. But I think I can afford to throw in a cup of coffee today for the heck of it. Time to get in the showah if I’m going to do any of this today! Alone!

27
Jul
10

What Keeps Me Up at Night


It usually starts with a cat, I yell “JACK! leave your sisters alone!” into the darkness, I lay back down and drift back off and suddenly feel a thump. The dog lunges at the foot of the bed, at my feet, which now holds a twenty pound cat between them. I try to move my legs, but you try moving twenty pounds of dead weight on top of the covers between your legs at 2 a.m. I finally lean forward and knock him down again. I lay back against the pillow, roll onto my side and look at the clock. Stupid cat, I hope he leaves me alone now.

Now my mind turns to him, the most recent of my failures, I just realized I was dreaming about him again. He was lying next to me in my dream, the big spoon. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Now I’m angry and hurt all over again. Now I can’t go back to sleep. Now I have to pee, and the room is cold. So I get up and make a mad dash to the bathroom, sitting there shivering and peeing at 2:15 a.m. and run back and dive under the covers where it’s still warm between the memory foam and down comforter. Ahhhhhh, warm, feels good. I forget what was troubling me, at least for the next 3 hours and fall back asleep.

Five a.m., why am I awake when the alarm doesn’t go off for 2 more hours? I should be sleeping for a week, I took two benadryl at 10 p.m. The dog is on her back, legs in the air, snoring and barking in her dream, legs kicking wildly. I’m jealous of my dogs life. I roll over, I’m starting to get angry that I can’t sleep, this never happens to me. I always sleep, in fact I have the opposite problem usually, I can’t wake up, I’m always over-sleeping and running late, but for a week now, I’m up before the sun, staring into the darkness thinking. Thinking about him, about all of them, and wondering what I can do to fix what ever it is that is wrong with me. I know how to be a friend, so why don’t I know how to be a girlfriend? Why do they all run away? I remember my nightmare from a few nights about about spiders, don’t think of spiders, don’t think of spiders, crap, now I’ll really never go back to sleep.

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