Posts Tagged ‘rat bastards

07
Aug
10

boo hoo, cry me a river


kinda looks like him too!

I woke up to an email from Mr. NY today.  Remember Mr. NY? He likes to get drunk and want me back. He’s still living in NY, headed to Croatia, but says he’s coming back for me. boo hoo dude, cry me a river. Who wants to read it? Ok…

“I’m so stupid I should of never left *insert state* or ur side past few days its all I could think bout.   If uve ever heard loneststar.  Amazed. I heard it tnite n I dropped to my knees asking god y I’m even here.  I’m comin back after I’m finished payin respect to my grandfathers grave in Croatia”

Sent at like 2 something a.m. from his blackberry. What is he thinking with this? I have no intention of replying to said message. I almost think I should reply though with some needy clingy message, it might be the only way to keep him away, but it could backfire too. If I ignore it, it will probably just drive him to further communication, you know how guys like a chase. On the other hand, should I reply saying not to come back? I don’t want him to come back and start trying to win me back. I don’t want him in my life or to go down that road again.

All I can hope it’s it’s more bullshit, that he isn’t coming back here. Things he did can’t be forgiven. I’d never trust him again. I was stupid to trust him to begin with. Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! is all i can think right now. I want some chocolate.

*Edit and update – I replied, it was mean, it felt good. He needs to know to leave me alone. I think this will do it.

“Stop *Mr. NY, stop lying to me, things have changed. I see things clearly now, you lied to me, a lot, about so many things that I won’t bother to list them now, and because you know what you lied about. I don’t doubt that you cared about me at some point, in some way, I think it’s why you lied about so many things, because you were scared I wouldn’t like you if I knew the real you, but when it turned to lies for manipulation reasons, I was done. I’ve changed *Mr. NY, I’m not the naive person you once met. I use to wish you would just be honest with me and I could know who you really were, that you would admit to all of the lies and apologize, that you would just pick up a phone and call me. I don’t wish for you to change anymore, this behavior is why your life is where it is right now. I don’t care to speculate on your reasons anymore. I think you are a coward, a liar, a manipulator, and not someone I want in my life. I don’t even care how mad this makes you because it’s all true, and I don’t want to hear it anymore. Goodbye Mr. NY. ”

*Mr. NY is substituted for his real name.

I think, hope, and yes, even pray, this will do it, that he will not reply, that he will leave me alone now. If he doesn’t, I won’t reply anymore. I’m actually really done. I hope he’s mad, I really hope he’s furious, I hope it ruins his weekend like he ruined so many for me. I hope with me finally saying what I wanted to say, how I really feel, that I can move on, and really ignore him from now on.

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25
Jul
10

Mr. NY


I’m going to go back a few months and tell the story of Mr. NY. It will be long, I may even share some of the emails and correspondences we had with each other over the last few months. I’m not sure where to start with Mr. NY. I thought he was Mr. wonderful, Mr. Soul mate, Mr. never lies…. I’m such a fool sometimes. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been played like this. Ok, once, but we’ll get to him eventually, it was so long ago, it’s hard to remember those details.

I met Mr. NY on plentyoffish.com, I’ve since deleted my account on there, so no need to go looking for me. Mr. NY had just moved here with a “roommate” from NY a few months prior to meeting me. He was also 8 years younger than me. Meow… I’m such a cougar! We texted a few times, then my plumbing blew up and he was a manly fix it kind of man, so I called him to ask if the plumber was ripping me off. First thing I notice is this guy has an incredible stutter. But I think it was the one thing that made me feel like he was human, real, and had a fault that humanized him. So we talked a few times on the phone, both about the plumbing issue I was having and general getting to know you conversations. Finally we agree to meet. But we hit a snag, he says his motorcycle just broke down that day, he tried to fix it, but ended up having to walk it home 3 miles after a test drive. What I didn’t get was why his roommate wouldn’t let him drive his car, he was very elusive about that now that I think about it. <–remember this, it’s his first lie of MANY! He also is waiting to go back into the Navy. or so he says.

So I agreed to pick him up at his “roommates” house… I park in the driveway and text him to tell him I’m there, a woman in a robe steps out from the garage, an older woman, maybe old enough to be his mother. We go to a bar down the road and have drinks, at which 2 of my friends show up and I notice he’s a little more flirty with my friend than he is me, maybe because she stuck her huge boobs right in his face and pointed them out? But needless to say, they left and all his attention was back on me… I should have seen this as a warning.

Anyway, date over, I drop him off, we kiss goodnight. He texts me later saying he had a great time. I should point out at this point in the story that I was about to graduate from college, again. So the following week I had all kinds of things to do and family coming to town, yadda yadda yadda… I was BUSY! The Friday after my graduation my dad and sister were staying with me and we decided to have a party. My dad got to cook for everyone all day, which he loves, and I loaded up on the booze. I invited Mr. NY, but again, his “motorcycle” was broken still, and he had no ride. I went to pick him up about an hour before guests were told to arrive. He met my dad and chatted. First thing he said arriving at my house for the first time was the stairs need to be fixed and he asked why they used nails and not deck screws… my dad heard this and got very excited because it’s exactly what he’s been saying since I moved in here. Mr. NY was going to fix this for me, he promised.<—-another lie! Friends arrived, everyone was very intoxicated except my sister, who my dad said should give Mr. NY a ride home and he proceeded to sit on my couch to make sure Mr. NY did NOT spend the night. Thankfully Mr. NY made friends with my neighbor, a guy, who that night had decided he was in love with my best girl friend. Mr. NY was going to stay there and help my neighbor, lets call him Deere, because there will be a story of Deere soon. My dad was leaving the next day to go home, and my best girlfriend was continuing the party at her lake house the next day, so my sister and I and Mr. NY, and Deere would all attend, after Deere got off work. Mr. NY was so helpful, went to work with Deere so he’d get done faster and could go meet at my friend’s house. This is where things get good.

At the second party Mr. NY gets pretty affectionate, to which I explained I don’t have sex with men I’m not in a committed monogamous relationships with. He said he didn’t want to date anyone else and didn’t want me to, and would stop going on plentyoffish. In fact he hadn’t been on there in weeks since we stated talking on the phone, I checked. It was his birthday as well, so is family kept calling all day, and when his brother called, he told him he had a girlfriend, and put me on the phone with his brother to prove I was real. We fooled around that evening on the dock, and finally it was time to go home, so my sister and I and Mr. NY drive back to my house. Mr. NY spends the night, and you can guess what happened. Honestly, it was great sex, I won’t lie, he was attentive, and cared about my pleasure first. The next day my sister and I wanted to go to the movies, so I took him home to his house. On the way home he calls saying his roommate is mad at him and wants him to leave for the night, but will bring him to my house and pick him up the next day. So I leave a key out for him and go to the movies with my sister, while I’m gone he has cleaned up the house and is just watching tv waiting for me to come back. I really thought it was sweet he vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen. My sister left to go back to work, it was Sunday now, and she was in the state on business and stayed the weekend with me, then went back to work before flying home the next week.

I forgot to mention, he was leaving for the beach the next day for his birthday bash. His friends were flying in from NY and they had rented a condo. He invited me for a weekend, but at that point I wasn’t sure. He said my friends could go. So the next day his roommate came to get him and took him to another friends house they were meeting at close to the airport the other people were flying into and they would leave from there. In the mean time he also tells me his roommate wants him to leave for 2 weeks and needs some space, so he’s going back to NY to visit his parents and leaving from the beach. So if I want to see him, I need to go to the beach or it will be 3 weeks before I see him again.

While he’s at the beach he texts me in the middle of the night confessing he’s in love with me, he knows it’s too soon, but he wants to marry me and he’s going to get a ring while he’s in NY and come back for me. He wishes we could run away somewhere. I told him that it was inappropriate to be texting me that while he was drunk at the beach and we’d see how he feels when I get to the beach.

The following weekend I go to the beach with one of my friends. I won’t go into that story of the friend and his friend, it’s a GREAT one, but it’s a whole other blog about self-respect. You may think I was stupid in this blog for falling for this guys lies and bs, but my friend really took it to another level at the beach! After 2 nights and days at the beach. We finally talked at the beach, he certainly changed his tune when we got there, to “I’m not sure if this is moving too fast, I’m not ready for marriage, lets see how this weekend goes”. GOOD! I’ve known you a month! But I had fallen in love at this point, he claimed he loved me though. When I left he said he cried that night because he knew the next day he’d be back in NY and that much further from me.

Fast forward to him arriving at home. It was like the second he stepped off the plane he turned into a different person. He stopped texting and calling, said he was “busy helping my family”, and he dropped is phone in a beer the first weekend he was home at a party. I also discovered him on POF updating his profile to “In the NYC visiting”. Fight after fight via text, email, and phone, he stopped replying to me for the most part. One of my friends emailed him and told him off, it was actually a GREAT email, it was also the beginning of the end. He emailed me a few weeks later saying my friends had been harassing him via facebook and email. Then last weekend to say he was being forced to move to Croatia by his parents. I was heart-broken, not only because I really did love who I thought this man was, but because I was so stupid to believe all the lies. I got over it. WAY over it. I don’t know why it took me so long to see the truth…

Lets break down the lies.

  • The Motorcycle. There either wasn’t one or it was a moped. He had lost his license to 2 dui’s back in NY. Something he claimed he was up there to fix.
  • The roommate. He was living with his friend and his friends parents, he was kicked out because he was a fuck up and couldn’t keep a job.
  • POF update. he claimed is roommate here had done it as a joke. Truth… he did it.
  • 2 weeks visiting is parents. Truth, he moved back home with no intention of coming back.
  • The Navy. Well, there is no truth to that.
  • The phone falling in a beer. Well that was clearly a lie since he was able to update his facebook account from it on a consistent basis, but somehow not text me?
  • My friends harassing him via. facebook. Truth, I asked, no one had his email but one person and she never emailed him again, and since I had deleted him, none of my friends remembered his last name or cared to harass him, they just wanted him out of my life.
  • Moving to Croatia and not coming back. Truth, he wanted me to beg him to stay, or ask him to move down here with me, or idk, just emailed me that to keep me hanging on. who cares to tell the truth.

So that ends my relationship with Mr. NY. Pretty bad huh? I know I left out a lot of details, honestly I could write pages about things that were said and done. But what I realize is this, anyone who comes on that strong, usually leaves that fast. I realize I need to ask more questions about a man and if he isn’t willing to answer them honestly and up front, he’s hiding something. If a man doesn’t invite me into his life, his home, and around HIS friends and family, eventually (maybe not at first), he’s hiding something. I won’t ignore warning signs anymore that I’m being lied to. I’m also not letting this burn me or ruin me for future relationships. I learned something from it and I moved on. I do think I’m a better person from what I learned, maybe Mr. NY was in my life to get me ready for Mr. right, to teach me something valuable about myself.




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