Posts Tagged ‘stupid

07
Aug
10

boo hoo, cry me a river


kinda looks like him too!

I woke up to an email from Mr. NY today.  Remember Mr. NY? He likes to get drunk and want me back. He’s still living in NY, headed to Croatia, but says he’s coming back for me. boo hoo dude, cry me a river. Who wants to read it? Ok…

“I’m so stupid I should of never left *insert state* or ur side past few days its all I could think bout.   If uve ever heard loneststar.  Amazed. I heard it tnite n I dropped to my knees asking god y I’m even here.  I’m comin back after I’m finished payin respect to my grandfathers grave in Croatia”

Sent at like 2 something a.m. from his blackberry. What is he thinking with this? I have no intention of replying to said message. I almost think I should reply though with some needy clingy message, it might be the only way to keep him away, but it could backfire too. If I ignore it, it will probably just drive him to further communication, you know how guys like a chase. On the other hand, should I reply saying not to come back? I don’t want him to come back and start trying to win me back. I don’t want him in my life or to go down that road again.

All I can hope it’s it’s more bullshit, that he isn’t coming back here. Things he did can’t be forgiven. I’d never trust him again. I was stupid to trust him to begin with. Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! is all i can think right now. I want some chocolate.

*Edit and update – I replied, it was mean, it felt good. He needs to know to leave me alone. I think this will do it.

“Stop *Mr. NY, stop lying to me, things have changed. I see things clearly now, you lied to me, a lot, about so many things that I won’t bother to list them now, and because you know what you lied about. I don’t doubt that you cared about me at some point, in some way, I think it’s why you lied about so many things, because you were scared I wouldn’t like you if I knew the real you, but when it turned to lies for manipulation reasons, I was done. I’ve changed *Mr. NY, I’m not the naive person you once met. I use to wish you would just be honest with me and I could know who you really were, that you would admit to all of the lies and apologize, that you would just pick up a phone and call me. I don’t wish for you to change anymore, this behavior is why your life is where it is right now. I don’t care to speculate on your reasons anymore. I think you are a coward, a liar, a manipulator, and not someone I want in my life. I don’t even care how mad this makes you because it’s all true, and I don’t want to hear it anymore. Goodbye Mr. NY. ”

*Mr. NY is substituted for his real name.

I think, hope, and yes, even pray, this will do it, that he will not reply, that he will leave me alone now. If he doesn’t, I won’t reply anymore. I’m actually really done. I hope he’s mad, I really hope he’s furious, I hope it ruins his weekend like he ruined so many for me. I hope with me finally saying what I wanted to say, how I really feel, that I can move on, and really ignore him from now on.

Advertisements
04
Aug
10

pms


I woke up this morning with a huge zit on my left temple. Then I realized I was liking reading Twilight, a story of teen angst. Then I was craving chocolate when I wasn’t even hungry and bought 3 cookies and ate them all along with a sweet tea, and I have no sweet tooth. Then my friend posted some adoption video that was funny on facebook, I cried and laughed at the same time. And to top it off, as I post this my right foot is cramping up into charliehorse position of spread toes and excruciating pain.

I don’t think I’m getting much done tonight. I pity the fool that calls me tonight. Pity da foo! I think I’ll finish this beer and read the rest of Twilight and try to avoid anything else emotional.




This is Meeeeeeeeeeeee!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 18 other followers

Calendar

October 2017
S M T W T F S
« Jul    
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Top Clicks

  • None